How Does RadioShack Still Exist?

I know we’ve all been in an economic slump as of late.

I’ve been so broke paying bills, gas, student loans and insurances that I cut my monthly comic book day out of my routine. Comic Books. The hell, man?

I also don’t eat out as much as I used too (dirty minds). Hell, sometimes I don’t even eat. But people have it much worse then I do. So I can’t complain too much.

See? Even this guy has a dog. Lucky asshole.

But once in a great while when I do have some excess cash, I realized I can’t go get that Spider Island TPB I’ve been wanting. Why? Because Borders went belly up. And there are no other bookstores near me.

Borders "Even on our deathbed we still charge you more than Amazon."

Or when Netflix doesn’t have a certain movie I can’t stroll down the street to Blockbuster and rent it because Blockbuster too has gone the way of the dodo. Same with the Circuit City that was a couple blocks from me.

One of my favorite little Mexican restaurants right down the block even closed last month.

None of this surprises me. There’s a ton of other businesses that have closed in the past few years. But I was wandering aimlessly in the local mall yesterday and seen Radioshack.

We ain't goin' nowhere!

How the hell is this place still in business?

Nobody was in it of course. I never see anyone in it. Ever. Do they still even have people working in there anymore? There hasn’t even been a Radioshack commercial in like 12 years.

There was NEVER a time in my life where I said, “Hey, let’s go to Radioshack.”

Nobody has ever said that. Not even the people who work there. If anyone works there that is. And that particular Radioshack has been in that mall for at least 20 years. At least.

You want to know the first and last time I ever went into and purchased something from Radioshack? My grandpa and I went in there to get a special hookup wire for my brand new SUPER NINTENDO. And Radioshack wasn’t even in the mall at that time. It was in the mall parking lot. That’s right. It’s like the mall itself disowned it. But apparently Radioshack survived out there for so long the mall was like, “There there, come on in from the cold now.”

Radioshack is the only electronics store that doesn’t carry anything interesting or the least bit intriguing. They don’t even carry basic electronics or computers. I don’t even think they have TV’s anymore. I’m pretty sure if you walk in there they’d have the same tech from 1993. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US RADIOSHACK?!

Hi, we basically just sell batteries.

How the fuck did Circuit City die before you did? HOW?

And it’s fucking called “RadioShack”. I know for a fucking fact they don’t carry radios. And car radios aside I know nobody under the age of 65 that even uses a radio anymore.

I want to know their secrets. How is it being kept alive? Remember how big Blockbuster was? It lived up to it’s fucking name that’s for sure. Renting a video game for the weekend at Blockbuster was super exciting when I was a kid. Many of the classic movies I love today I first seen thanks to Blockbuster. And now it’s dead.

But this fucker is still alive. It’s the vampire of consumer stores.

Wait.

Consumer.

Consume.

Vampire.

Maybe if I take what I said literally.

Radioshack actually consumes other stores. For sustenance of course. To further it’s already pointless existence.

Maybe there is no President or CEO that could tell my how they’re keeping the company alive. Maybe that’s why I never see any employees inside.

Maybe The RadioShack itself is a living breathing thing.

Great Scott.

RadioShack itself IS the consumer. It keeps existing off it’s own (superior) kind. It’s seniority is key as to why it can destroy this more popular chains and retailers.

Fucking SOPA better not take this down because I stumbled upon something so grave.

I now know what I have to do. I now know my purpose in life. It’s so simple. It’s always been. It’s been right in front of me the whole time.

I must destroy The RadioShack.

Regards,

 

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2 thoughts on “How Does RadioShack Still Exist?

  1. Sprint
    i now also shares allot of radio shack stores that are still open i bought lots from them before you where born like scanners so i could drive 80 mph instead of 50 mph ask mom

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