Summer of Superman

You guys see that? Up in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

No, It’s SUPERMAN

This summer marks the return of Superman in his first solo film since 2013’s Man of Steel. And, judging by the previews, optimism, humor, and f***ing color is coming with him. Love him or not, Superman has been the quintessential superhero for nearly 90 years; A symbol of hope; hero of the downtrodden. There’s nothing quite as iconic (or American) as Superman. Whose signature “S” shield is universally recognized by people of all ages. The new film lands July 11th and with that comes a promotional celebration of the Man of Steel in the form of good ‘ol American consumerism. Although promotional tie-ins have become scarce, it makes sense that a character like Superman would bring back this form of marketing in such a “super” way; if only for a couple months. 

So, in the spirit of my Halloween Daily Blogs, I’m going to be sharing the ways I’ll be celebrating one of my favorite superheroes all the way up to his return to the silver screen come July 11th. Return to this post every now and then to see what adventures I’ll be having during the Summer of Superman! Up, up and away!

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August 17th

FINALLY. When my wife was downstate, I was able to fly by a local Dairy Queen and try the Superman Blizzard! Shhhhhhh….don’t let her know. It was fantastic. Inhaled it in about 6 minutes with no brain freeze. I was headed home after a looong walk (11.6 miles) and a small Dairy Queen was directly in my path. I’ve only been to a Dairy Queen once prior but was aware of this Superman movie promotion. The poster advertising the “Superman Blizzard” was in the window so I took it as a sign…literally I guess.

It was a standard vanilla cookie dough blizzard/shake/thing but was blue with red and yellow sprinkles. It even came in a cool Superman cup (wax paper unfortunately)! I miss the days of promotional tie-ins such as these. What would’ve been perfect is if the cups were plastic and collectable; perhaps featuring multiple characters from the movie. But I’ll take what I can get nowadays. I’m glad I didn’t miss it!

August 13th

Today was a job for Superman indeed. I volunteered as Superman at a local library to read to kids and parents about the origin of the character and the importance of doing the right thing and seeing the good in everyone.

I’m a veteran to events like these, so I know most kids zone out after about 2-3 minutes into these stories. But I think the parents appreciated the message I was reading at least. I purchased a copy of “I Am Superman” written by Brad Meltzer and illustrated by Chris Eliopoulos. I read through 4 children’s books on Superman and this one was by far the best. Filled with charming art and nostalgic nods, it really shows the heart of the character in a book you can read in about 6 minutes.

Did the kids get the message? Maybe. But the point is that “Superman” flew in and gave it to them. And, of course, plenty of pictures and fist bumps. Always time well spent in my book!

July 11th

Well, here it is. Superman Returns! Well…not that movie. I mean Superman returns to theaters today! I was able to catch a 4 o’clock showing on the mega screen of my local theater and it was indeed pure escapism. As it should be. Unapologetically comic book-sci-fi;breakneck speed. Not perfect by any means…but it understood the values of Superman and (hopefully) it’s the beginning of a well loved franchise. 

I read from a lot of fans online that it felt like a long episode of Superman The Animated Series. And when you watch it with that mindset; it certainly does. Which isn’t a bad thing…as that is probably my favorite rendition of Superman in movies/television. The cast all had great dynamic. Lex Luthor was just nasty. Lois Lane was smart and confident. Jimmy was charming and funny. Superman was strong and likeable. I would’ve liked more Clark Kent. More of Ma and Pa. I wish the main cast had some more time together and the film breathed a little better. The entire two hour runtime is a frantic chase to save the world. It moves faster than a speeding bullet indeed. But this is the pace needed for the current generation I suppose. The film needed a more of “show don’t tell”. 

All in all, Superman is back and I couldn’t be happier. David Corenswet’s Superman is kind and enduring with a great smile. Sure, he got his ass kicked 90% of the movie yet he came out on top. And I hope Superman comes out on top at the box office and the character can soar to new heights within pop culture. 

PS: Mr. Terrific was the real MVP. 

PPS: Summer ain’t over. I still have some Superman experience to share!

June 22nd

I saw a giant Superman billboard while driving on the expressway today towards the Chicago suburbs. I know being advertised to isn’t anything to write on your blog about, but the sight of this not only brought a smile but a bit of a realization: I can’t think of the last time I saw a highway billboard for a movie. Movies since COVID have been on such a tailspin that promotional efforts are nearly nonexistent by modern standards. And the superhero movie genre has become so tired and diluted in the past 15 years. Movies simply are not the moneymakers they used to be. 

I’m not going to grandly proclaim that Superman is the start of the tide turning but I am hoping that it becomes a pop cultural event like the Barbie movie from 2 summers back. It has the makings for it: pure colorful dazzling escapism concerning a character everyone and their grandparents know. I’ve read articles on how it’s set to make total bank and how Superman posters are even being stolen from bus stops. But, again this is all just speculation and we won’t know until July 11th. 

The most interesting aspect of this billboard was how the words “It Begins” have been added. Which I haven’t seen on any of the previously released Superman posters. Clearly stating that this is planned to be part of a franchise. It’s no surprise, of course, to want Superman to be an ongoing franchise. But your movie has to be good and a success first. It’s always ignorant when Hollywood crowns a “winner” before the race is even over. We all want Superman here to stay afterall.   

June 14

Saturday I attended the annual Superman Celebration held in Superman’s adopted hometown of Metropolis Illinois. Christened as the hometown of the Man of Steel in 1972 ; the “Superman Celebration” has been happening in the second week of June since 1979. This was my second one I’ve personally attended and it is a true experience in Americana. It’s part comic convention and part small town fun fair. With the hub being the 15 foot statue of Superman in front of the town’s courthouse. The street is lined with food and craft vendors; local fundraisers and comic book dealers; the stores are open later offering their wares. And, of course, there’s the Superman Museum and gift shop; boasting the largest collection of Superman merchandise, props, and memorabilia under one roof.  

It’s heartwarming seeing so many salt-of-the-earth people dressed in their “S” symbols (or dressed as Superman himself!) walking the streets and having a great time. I met locals who have been attending the celebration since they were toddlers. A good chunk of visitors (mostly from the midwest) “fly” in as well. With live music, a new Superman “drone” show, and different comic/superhero related programs throughout the day there’s enough to keep busy. The new “Kingdom Come” style Superman shield was worn by so many attendees that day, young and old alike, it made me hope this new Superman movie really propels the Man of Steel into the front of the line of pop culture relevance. 

My wife and I took plenty of pictures, toured the Super Museum, found some Kryptonite, and ate some great burgers at Fat Ed’s down the street. Heck, even Spider-man showed up to pay his respects to the Man of Steel. Besides seeing the new film itself, I’m sure this will be the highlight of my Summer of Superman. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Every type of person; every color, size, and age come together with smiles to celebrate this iconic character (and probably for the foot long corndogs). And that’s how it should be. Superman is your friend after all.  No matter where you come from.   

June 11th

Long story short: I’ve been trying to put a Superman costume together to wear for my charity group. One that fits and presents well with a classic bright undeniable look. It seems simple enough, right? It’s “just” tights and a cape. But nothing worth doing is easy! It’s been a lot of troubleshooting, returning, reordering and customizing (since January!) But I think we’re finally finishing it up. I’m waiting on one more component before assembling everything and unfortunately I don’t believe it will be ready by the date I was aiming for but that is okay. 

Superman is a symbol of hope and optimism. One of the most recognizable characters in all of pop culture. Most importantly, he’s a friend. And I’m hoping the new film makes an impact with the new generation ushering the Man of Steel into a new golden because we can use him today more than ever. Once completed, I’ll be posting pictures and results here. I definitely think it will be done before the movie’s release. And (finally) Superman will be visiting some children’s hospitals handing out gifts and bringing a better tomorrow. As he’s always been meant to do! 

June 7th

Today I made a quick stop into a Walmart on the way back from doing an event downstate. Besides getting some mundane adult things, I decided to see if there was anything new for Superman this summer. Their toy aisle was fully stocked with what is currently available. I decided to pick up the 12 inch Superman as I was impressed with how well done he was. I never go for these larger figures as they’re usually too basic but this one seemed different. Plus it was under $10. I also stumbled upon Superman Keebler fudge striped cookies which was a surprise. There looks to be a TON of junk food that’s going to be tied in Superman, and this was the first I saw in person. I loved these cookies as a kid, and it was really neat to see them with a Superman overlay. I’d pick up a package but I’m not into eating this stuff anymore; But I appreciate the creativity. 

I also ended my evening by reading the first issue of Mr. Terrific: Year One. It’s a six issue series that is serving as a prequel to Mr. Terrific’s appearance in the Superman movie. It grabbed my attention so I’ll definitely be keeping up with the limited series. I like a character that doesn’t have much “back reading” that you can just jump into. And I really love Mr. Terrific’s look. That’s what originally drew me in. I realized it was a day where I ogled cookies, bought an action figure, and read a comic book. But there’s always plenty of adult nonsense in between those things. So I appreciate the escape. 

June 2nd

This is my humble Super-Shrine displayed on our living room bookshelf. It consists of a DC Direct Golden Age Era Superman Statue circa 1999, an encased glowing Kryptonite crystal, Phantom Zone die cast projector (it projects Superman’s logo up to five feet!), and a 3D printed bottle city of Kandor I glued into a bell jar. Subtle yet super, I always think less is more when it comes to collectible displays. Although with the Summer of Superman upon us I am open to adding some more artifacts in time. Who knows, it’s possible that this will grow from the corner and take up an entire shelf space. Like Parasite absorbing his latest victim.  

May 30th

I stopped into a random Target on my way back from the library as I was tipped off about a pretty cool Superman tie-in comic that recently hit the magazine racks.I spotted it within seconds of entering the store and also picked up some neat new action figures of Superman and Mr. Terrific! It was interesting to note that the figures already looked picked over; hopefully signaling that Superman’s return is long awaited by the public. 

The magazine consists of 3 single issues pulling from All Star Superman, Superman: For All Seasons, and Lex Luthor: Man of Steel with the cover claiming these are the “Official Comic Book Stories That Inspired The New Movie!”. Which I’m hoping is true. 

This first little bundle of new Superman merchandise reminds me of when I used my paycheck on a similar “haul” for Superman Returns at a local Target during the summer of 2006. Like Supes, time sure does fly. Hopefully this film ends up with much better results.  

A Mighty Morphin’ Autopsy

mmprbanner copyI dissected a 1993 Mighty Morphin’ Power Ranger action figure and took pictures of it. That’s it. That’s what this is.

If you’re ready for this nonsense lets move forward…

I purchased a set of original 1993 Mighty Morphin’ Power Ranger figures for $15. Now,  understand I did not want the set.  I simply wanted the Green Ranger. But, for whatever reason, the seller wouldn’t separate them. Perhaps he wanted to get rid of this dirty and scuffed figure rainbow plaguing his store in one simple transaction. Yet I’d like to think he believed in the importance of teamwork and to never leave your fellow ranger behind.

Either way, I now have my Green Ranger and thus planted the idea seed for this article. Not too shabby for $3.50 per Power Ranger.

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This is the Red Ranger I was forced to purchase. Upon examining my toys, I came to the conclusion he was the most battle damaged. A lot of paint chips, a broken belt buckle, and creaky limbs etc. No amount of Clorox wipes, soap, hot water, or toothpaste could return him to his Mighty Morphin’ passable self. After inspecting him I exclaimed, “Gee, there’s a lot of screws in this guy…” and that’s how Jason The Red Ranger became the cadaver. I decided to make a long article about it on my dead website. Go Go Power Rangers! 

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“I say we do!” “I say we don’t!”

More context because I’m longwinded: I love dissembling things. I have since I was a child. I do not know why. I enjoy the process of taking my toys apart, examining what made them what they were, and reassembling them. Could this be because of some deep seeded physiological trauma? A coping mechanism perhaps? Remember Dunkaroos? I graduated from simple action figures to game consoles and handhelds when I was in my late teens. And that led to soldering, cleaning, (aesthetically) customizing, and modding. My most recent project was completely refurbishing two Nintendo Game and Watches. If doing something along the lines of this interests you, my advice would to be to start cheap and have your subject be something you don’t mind messing up. Like…a beat-up $3 Power Ranger action figure. Speaking of that (oh yeah) let’s continue…

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The screws that were holding together this Power Ranger for 27 years. Thank you for your service, boys.

It only took me a few minutes to completely disassemble this figure. And, when the deed was done, it still supported itself nicely. I assume the figure was being held together by 27 years of sticky candy coated finger residue and dried up bubble bath.

WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGERY 

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I grew up with a couple of these Power Ranger figures and I always loved the heft of them. They were 8 inches tall, great articulation, and decent detail. They were action figures in every sense of the word. And I think that’s why nowadays one in the package is rare and one in good condition is pricey. Because these guys were played-the-heck-out of with. Wow, read that previous sentence. It’s terrible. These weren’t little 3 3/4th  inch stormtroopers with swallowable accessories. You could grip these guys around the waist and have them kick the shit out of your little cousin. POWER Rangers, man. Truly.

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Hollow inside. Turns out I have more in common with the Red Ranger than I previously believed.

In conclusion, it was pretty interesting to dissect a piece of your childhood. This figure actually turned out to be a little more intricate than I previously predicted. Reassembly is also pretty simple. And upon further inspecting the parts, this could be a great way to really refurbish these figures to their original glory. That being said, the thing to take away from reading this article is that I now own the Green Ranger action figure I truly wanted. And, deep down, isn’t that what we all wanted? That’s rhetorical by the way.

Thank you for reading about me literally taking apart a 27 year old action figure. Most of what I write is pointless, but I honestly believe this might just be the most pointless thing I’ve ever written.

I love it.  

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Rest In Power.

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I Dissected An Alien

Are toys as fun as they used to be? Would the modern kid rather have a touchscreen instead of a Stretch Armstrong? Years of experience as an expert man-child led me to realize that toys have sort of “grown up” alongside me. Trading “Glow In The Dark!” and “Oozing Action!” features for “collector friendly packaging” and “high articulation and detail”.

Yet sometimes you long for a toy that wants to be played with. It’s a wild concept, I know. So my 25% off coupon and I ventured to a Target toy aisle this holiday season in search of adventure. And I think I found it…in the form of a plastic capsule holding what looks like an aggravated cucumber.

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If you’re not here for this why do you even come here to begin with?

Enter the TREASURE X ALIEN. 

This dude cost me $12.99. They have two other alien designs you can slice into, but I chose this one because I wanted the rare opportunity to own something that looks like someone pickled The Creature from the Black Lagoon. 

ALIEN2Some research (scrolling through Amazon while eating a damp corndog) revealed that Treasure X is a line excavation toys that involve slime, sand, scalpels, skeletons, and serpents. Digging deeper revealed boards games, expansion packs, and promises of REAL (?) gold and meteorite treasure. Feeling overwhelmed and confused I longed for the simple days of baking a tray of insects using a low wattage light bulb. And using my recollection of Creepy Crawlers as a palate cleanser, I decided to (literally) dig into my discounted alien creature. You’ve come this far. You might as well finish the article.

ALIEN3Long story short: You cut open a slimy alien to retrieve a smaller slimier alien.

After struggling with insanely intricate packaging, I removed my oozing phallic space monster as well as several accessories needed to dissect it. The “directions” given were really creative, overall looking/reading less like directions and more like a special top secret assignment. I do not feel as ridiculous as I should I thought to myself standing in my living room dressed in Ninja Turtle pajamas holding a plastic toy scalpel.

I began to cut into the creature, eventually removing it’s rubbery skin plate revealing a bright yellow ribcage. I proceeded to snap it out because I watched The Autopsy of Jane Doe 5 times and that is what you do. That led me to discovering  the alien’s slimy yellow egg-like gut sac. Gut sacs normally don’t intrigue me but I was lost in my playtime imagination and proceeded with the autopsy as directed by my top secret government files from Target.

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What was thought to be a simple autopsy turned out to be a rescue mission.

Using my scalpel to slice open the egg-sac, it began to overflow with what I can only describe as thick dank green ooze. Feeling in the moment, I quietly exclaimed “My god…” to myself as my mutant cucumber’s innards dramatically dripped on the paper towel I laid down out of fear of my girlfriend’s wrath. I then dug my scalpel inside the snot-like region and “rescued” our dear alien adventurer. To the right of the gut-sac squeezed in tight was a “heart” bag containing more strange alien treasure. I put that to the side as I tended to the little mucus soaked creature I had just removed.

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The gooey contents within my creature…

After a quick cleanup I examined the little ninja alien guy. He was a pretty cool little action figure complete with moving limbs and a blaster. I also discovered a stretchy and sticky little pink slug monster within the gut-sac. If I was a child I would have ate that for sure because even as an adult I was debating doing so. Cutting open the creature’s heart-bag revealed this a small plastic accessory that looked like a late 90s pocket planner. Kind of a let down, but I made up the story that my alien devoured some sort of Michael Douglas-esque businessman during rush hour. So it had that going for it.

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The little adventurer dude that I extracted. I named him Barry.

That pretty much sums up the autopsy process. Think of this as those little “blind box” figures you see at the store checkout, but instead of ripping up some cardboard you have to cut into a large rubber alien to reveal your character.  It’s a very creative and fun way to go about it and isn’t that what buying toys is all about? So let’s breakdown the positives and negatives of this Treasure X Alien.

GOOD: 

Creative and fun. From the directions to the packaging to the actual dissection. It all comes together well. I took my time and the whole process took me about 15-20 minutes.

Affordable. For $13 you get a cool little action figure, accessories, rubber alien, slime, and a really awesome experience to retrieve it all. I could also see why Target has these dudes all over the store for the Christmas season: They are perfectly sized for CHRISTMAS STOCKINGS. Duh. Solid marketing there.

Gross with Variety. There’s 2 other types of aliens to slice open. And about a dozen different little alien adventurer guys to “save”. And in an age terrified of gender labeling, it’s refreshing to see something that is so clearly a “Boy’s Toy”. Though anybody can dig this, honestly.

BAD:

Messy. I don’t mind gettin’ down and dirty with my alien cucumber, but the toy scalpel isn’t very sharp and it may take some scissors to cleanly open/dig into things. I understand it’s for safety reasons, but at times I felt like my alien was like cutting a Dollar Tree steak using a glorified spork. And, obviously, slime is involved. And kids, probably. So take that as you will.

No Story. Is my alien dead? Who are these little guys I’m digging out? What are their names? Why is their treasure and why am I getting it? Imagination is a great tool but so is direction. I love that this isn’t some sort of tie in an existing property, but having some fun backstory is nice too.

One and done. You can’t “re-dissect” the alien. And if you somehow spend too much time reassembling it, the autopsy still won’t be as fun. The whole point of these being so cheap is to buy more and “discover” more aliens. So it’s understood. It’s just kinda sad that your big oozing alien has a huge permanent hole in his chest.


Overall this is an awesome little toy for an affordable price. It took me back to the days of Creepy Crawlers and Dr. Dreadful’s Lab. It’s original, it’s gross, and mysterious. I hope these gross dudes end up in some Christmas stockings this year, because I’d love for this line to continue and even expand into more intricate sets of gross slimy dissection.

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Pictured: My face when being forced to watch The Last Jedi

Plus when you’re done dissecting, you can jam as much goop into your alien’s head as possible, squeeze it, and watch him ooze from his eyes, nose, and mouth! Yum!

So are toys as fun as they used to be? While the innovation and creativity may have taken a backseat to collectability and intellectual properties, fun original and interactive toys are still in the aisles. You just might have to dig a little deeper to find them than, say, 20 years ago. The best thing about toys is the ability to pretend and imagine. And these types of toys are perfect for that. Like I mentioned earlier, these are toys that beg to be played with. Would I buy another one? Not for myself, but they’d make an excellent gift for kiddos on Christmas.

I hope you enjoyed reading my college thesis on pointless future trash that you don’t even care about. The thought “Why are you even doing this?” popped up several times when I was writing this article and photographing my toy. Then I seen green slime ooze out of my new rubber alien’s toy face and that’s when I knew the answer. It was all worth it in the end, folks.

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