movie – ChrisDoesComics.com

07/31/2025

Ad Nauseam: WWF BATTLEMANIA #1

Well let me tell you somethin’, BROTHER! Ad Nauseam is back and bigger than ever, dude! I’m grabbin’ comic books by the neck and lifting them above my head to the screams of 10,000 Ad-a-manics. I’m crackin’ these guys open and pulling out some crunchy pages of pure consumer capitalism, JACK! We’re talkin’ toys, video games, movies, all that junk you crave! So the only question you have to ask yourself is whatcha gonna do, brother?! Whatcha gonna do when another entry of Ad Nauseam runs wild on yooooooouuuu?!

Before big budget superhero flicks and shared Marvel cinematic universes; there was the golden age of professional wrestling. Meaty men in brightly colored tights dealing out superhero punishment in the name of cartoonish melodrama. So publishing comic books based on WWF feuds only makes sense. Talk about your pop culture coming full circle!

WWF BATTLEGROUND Released August 1991.

WWF Battlemania was a comic book series published by Valiant Comics that ran for 5 issues from August of 1991 to March 1992. Each issue consists of two wrestling “feud” stories, a double-sided poster, and – due to licensing terms – several WWF related advertisements as well as a twelve-page WWF Merchandising Catalog. Obviously these comics being absolutely busting with vintage WWF advertisements is why they’re currently the main event of Ad Nauseam. This is where the power lies!

So fasten your Python Power bandana, play some “Obsession” by Animotion, and read the rest of this paragraph in “Mene” Gene Okerlund’s voice: Its the moment none of you have been waiting for! Reading about 34 year old ads from a wrestling comic book! Can it get any sadder? It can! It will! So lets go down to the cyber ring for all the glorious ad-action!

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WWF Superstars for the Gameboy

These WWF titles on the NES and Gameboy were so damn enticing but always a let down. Each new game I’d always think would be different. To be able to have an official WWF wrestling match in your pocket or on your NES was what dreams were made of. But those dreams of winning the World Title at Wrestlemania had the “fun” of a frustrating pop quiz in your math class. I can only describe this era of WWF games like a clunkier Double Dragon. Every wrestler played the same. With small rosters. One or two match types. No taunts or “finisher” moves to be performed. I remember thinking the best thing about these games was hearing the 8 bit versions of a wrestler’s theme song at the selection screen. Mr. Perfect’s is still stuck in my head all these decades later.

Hulk Hogan & Ultimate Warrior Garbage

Okay, I choose these two WWF offerings because just look at them. I mean, the slippers are goofy. Fun…but silly. The fact that there is a large plastic Hulk Hogan head adorning the tips of your feet sounds like a request some crazed flamboyant sultan would make. Yet if I received these as a gift on Christmas morning, I wouldn’t be disappointed. Afterall, you don’t have the best judgement as a child. And you love what you love. So these slippers are ridiculous but appropriate.

Now the “chairs”. Holy God. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Even children of the 1980s had to think “Okay, now this is a little much.” A blue and red plastic chair sporting graphics of Hulk and Warrior on the seat and back would be just fine. But, instead, the designers of this thought it would be better to produce something out of your nightmares. A chair any child would think twice about sitting in. It’s like something out of Nightmare On Elm Street. Not to mention the simple reality that these are flesh colored plastic chairs of two shirtless hulking men that look like they’re constipated. They look like something you’d see at Elton John’s dinner table.

Hulk Hogan Vitamins

When you’re a world renowned pop culture icon and one of your catchphrases is “Say your prayers and eat your vitamins!” I am not at all surprised that there were Hulk Hogan brand vitamins. I also wouldn’t be surprised to learn if WWF tried to release a Hulk Hogan companion Prayer Book. This ad claims Hulk’s vitamins are made with only natural flavors and colors as well as no preservatives. When it came to vitamins, personally I was a Flintstones kid. I’m not sure if taking Hulk’s vitamins would’ve made a difference as most of these pro wrestlers were as “natural” as a deep fried Oreo. But I do know I would’ve garnered far more respect if the vitamins gave me a handlebar mustache in 2nd grade.

Lastly, it states that Hulk suggested “beta-carotene” be added. Which is a pigment (commonly found in colorful vegetables) that the body converts into vitamin A. Makes total sense as if you squint from enough distance Hulk Hogan looks like an unhinged sweet potato.

Tiger Electronics

Can you believe this ad? The absolute gall. Shame on you, Tiger Electronics. “World’s Best Games”? What an absolute slap to my prepubescent face.

You remember those awful Tiger Handheld LCD games? The ones we’d play because we couldn’t afford a Gameboy? We were told, “It’s the same thing, Spencer!” by our parental guardians. It wasn’t the same thing. It was beeping trash packaged in an impossible to open plastic shell for $19.99. Tiger Electronics would get the rights to some truly awesome video games like Mega Man 2, Tecmo Bowl, and Outrun. And then they’d create these simplistically braindead prehistoric “games” and package them in an alluring plastic shell complete with awesome official art and logos.

Perhaps you’d receive one of these as a gift. Or see them on the store shelf and think to yourself, “Altered Beast?! I don’t even need a Sega Genesis?! And I can play it ANYWHERE?!”

You just fell for the Tiger trap, bucko.

The idea of just firing up your favorite video game during a car ride or waiting room was fantasy to me…because of course it was. These were not your favorite video games. These were essentially bedazzled smoke detectors wearing the skin of Sonic The Hedgehog 3. Barely resembling the title it claims to be that made you want it in the first place. An erroneous trickster playing on your childlike inhibitions. Waiting to let you down on your birthday or Christmas. Chirping happily through its plastic shell. Then, an advertisement like this pops up in your comic book. Claiming the title “World’s Best Games” as if it’s synonymous with Tiger Electronics.

Tiger Electronics, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: Go suck a melon.

Tonka WWF Wrestling Buddies

The WWF Wrestling Buddies have to be one of the most ingenious and popular “dolls” for boys ever conceived. Growing up, these were a staple of nearly every friend I had. A Hulk Hogan or Ultimate Warrior wrestling buddy was as common in a boys bedroom as a flipping bed. As a child, you watch wrestling to emanate wrestling. You bet I’m climbing to the “top rope” to deliver a devastating elbow drop as often as Randy Savage did. But some marketing wizard at Tonka Toys had the genius idea to replace your common boring pillow with a pillow shaped like a wrestler. Incredible.

From the colorful alluring cartoonish designs, having “limbs”, to being nearly 2 feet in height…these toys were an absolute no-brainer when it came to boys and their natural masculine rage for wrasslin’! So much so that these have inspired generations of “wrestling” pillow buddies from the Ninja Turtles to Superheroes to even more wrestling promotions. They make “wrestling” buddies to “beat up” to this very day. As these are still a nostalgic staple of yesteryear and, no hyperbole, one of my personal favorite toys of all time. My Hulk Hogan “wrestling buddy” was part of my “decor” from childhood all the way to having my first apartment.

Afterall, there are two types of people in this world: those who have a decorative pillow on their couch that reads “gather” and those who have a 2 foot stuffed Hulk Hogan on their couch that reads “Hulk Rules”.

Suburban Commando

Suburban Commando is probably the movie trailer I’ve seen the most because it was shown at the beginning of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles home video. Seriously. The trailer, till this day, is ingrained into my brain permanently. I’ve seen the movie…don’t remember it…but the trailer? I could recite it beat for beat. I don’t remember much about this film other than 1.) It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be 2.) The Undertaker makes a cameo 3.) I WAS FROZEN TODAY. And 4.) I think there’s some interesting Alien makeup/creature towards the end.

As much of a Hulkamanic I am, I can’t defend Hulk Hogan’s Hollywood career. Simply put: it’s lackluster. 1989’s No Holds Barred is probably his “best” film as a lead. But even that is because it’s certainly a product of its time oozing absolute cheese. Hogan was the first crossover celebrity in professional wrestling, so it made sense for his films to be low brow, silly, and child friendly. They were marketing to the wrestling demographic of the time. Yet, even as a child, I knew these were stinkers. Not even Hulk Hogan could save them. What was most frustrating was that Hulk was such a poor actor. When it came to the world of wrestling, The Hulkster had charisma and energy for miles. Entertained millions live. But on the silver screen…he was subdued, monotone, and awkward. Every movie you were waiting for the Hulk Hogan we all knew and loved to break through. But it never came.

Rocky 3 is easily his best movie. It was also the movie that catapulted the character of Hulk Hogan. 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain is also some great 90s cheese. Hulk made a cameo in Muppets in Space. One of the worst Muppet movies.

But my personal favorite Hulk Hogan role? His cameo in Gremlins 2: The New Batch. What a glorious time capsule.

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And now the point of this article…

I began by saying professional wrestling is like comic books: Bright larger-than-life chiseled characters adorned in spandex dealing out massive amounts of punishment for the sake of melodrama. Complete with confusing history, catchphrases, and merchandise. Each weekly wrestling show is a comic issue featuring story arcs, “one-offs”, “specials” and “double issues”.

With that context, Hulk Hogan is the Superman of professional wrestling. The one who started it all. The blueprint for every “superhero” to follow.

Hulk Hogan wasn’t just the face of an era of professional wrestling—he created the era. He didn’t ride the wave of sports entertainment; he was the wave. A cultural tsunami that took professional wrestling out of bingo halls and into the living rooms, stadiums, and hearts of the entire world. Without Hulk Hogan, the term ‘main event’ would never have meant the same thing. He captivated the globe. He made believers out of skeptics. He gave hope, strength, and spectacle. And whether you cheered him or booed him, one thing was undeniable: you watched him.

**“Mouth Of The South” Jimmy Hart and I at Hogan’s Beach Shop in 2018**

I’ve been a Hulkamaniac as early as I can remember. It was never a fandom of peaks and valleys. Anyone who has known me can tell you that I never treated it as a fad.

For me, Hulk Hogan is Americana. Nostalgia. A warm positive feeling. Like hearing the theme song of your favorite childhood television show, taking a bite of your grandma’s home cooking, or fastening the cap of your favorite baseball team.

The character of Hulk Hogan was present throughout my life and attached to comforting memories. Even shared between friends and family. Beyond television, The Hulkster adorned my walls. Hulk showed up in the form of birthday and Christmas gifts. Magazines. Coliseum video tapes. I had epic “matches” against my Hulk Hogan pillow buddy. Bonded with fellow friends over his feuds and matches; fought over who would play as Hulk during those awful early WWF video games.

As I grew into a young man, Hulkamania never faded. Just evolved with a newly perceived sense of nostalgia. A “Hulk Still Rules” t-shirt was my first internet purchase ever back in 2002. A Hulk Hogan poster adorned my wall in college. “Real American” was my ringtone for over a decade. Weekly “TNA nights” with a friend as we’d reminisce of Hulk’s career while watching him on Monday’s “Impact Wrestling”. I had the privilege to be a part of the sea of Hulkamaniacs and watch him wrestle and appear live across multiple wrestling promotions. And as someone who witnessed it first hand several times, even in a smarky wrestling town like Chicago, the energy does change once the Hulkster makes his way to the ring. Pure charismatic electricity. That’s Hulkamania in full effect.

As my wrestling fandom winded down and I donated the childhood toys, threw away the magazines, and sold the t-shirts; Hulk Hogan was the exception .Wrestlers come and go but , just like the nWo, once you’re a Hulkamaniac…you’re one 4 life.

**My Original Hulk Hogan Figure I’ve Had For As Long As I Remember**. One of the ONLY original toys from my childhood I still own.

Not long ago when Hulk dropped the “Hollywood” for “Immortal” when being introduced, I had a dark intruding thought of when his day comes the irony would be palpable. But Hulk Hogan was immortal afterall. All the legendary wrestlers that have passed so young, Hulk was different. He was the guy. Not the top of the mountain. He was the mountain. But, time and again, life reminds us of its precious unpredictability.

I’m not someone who loses sleep over celebrity deaths. But, for my entire life, I was a solid subscriber to Hulkamania. Keeping up on all things Hogan. Hulk was always running wild.

And then it all came crashing down. Terry Bollea passed away July 24th 2025 at the age of 71. Clear as day, on the social media I’d see what Hulk was always up to; suddenly proclaimed that he was gone. That fire was extinguished.

It’s taken a few days for this realization to hit. You cannot let the opinions of others matter. The profound positive impact Hulk Hogan had on me as a child and adolescent is what matters most. I always looked up to him. Hulk Hogan brought me nothing but joy and entertainment for decades. Even as recently as this year, when “Real American” hits the arena; I’d be glued to my television. His message was strong and positive. The type of message a young man needs especially without a strong male figure in his life. Fight for the rights of every man. Fight for what’s right. Fight for your life! Believe in yourself, BROTHER.

Hulkamania will continue to run wild. Because it’s more than just a flawed singular man. It always has been. The legacy of Hulk Hogan isn’t just etched in the history of WWE—it is the history. Everything within professional wrestling worldwide that followed stands on the shoulders of Hulkamania. And beyond that, Hulk Hogan is one of popular culture’s most iconic characters. He’s the representation of strength, power, charisma. A Real American. Hulk Hogan was the phenomenon. The template. Hulk Hogan was, and always will be…immortal, brother.

06/02/202508/19/2025

Summer of Superman

You guys see that? Up in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

No, It’s SUPERMAN.

This summer marks the return of Superman in his first solo film since 2013’s Man of Steel. And, judging by the previews, optimism, humor, and f***ing color is coming with him. Love him or not, Superman has been the quintessential superhero for nearly 90 years; A symbol of hope; hero of the downtrodden. There’s nothing quite as iconic (or American) as Superman. Whose signature “S” shield is universally recognized by people of all ages. The new film lands July 11th and with that comes a promotional celebration of the Man of Steel in the form of good ‘ol American consumerism. Although promotional tie-ins have become scarce, it makes sense that a character like Superman would bring back this form of marketing in such a “super” way; if only for a couple months.

So, in the spirit of my Halloween Daily Blogs, I’m going to be sharing the ways I’ll be celebrating one of my favorite superheroes all the way up to his return to the silver screen come July 11th. Return to this post every now and then to see what adventures I’ll be having during the Summer of Superman! Up, up and away!

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August 17th

FINALLY. When my wife was downstate, I was able to fly by a local Dairy Queen and try the Superman Blizzard! Shhhhhhh….don’t let her know. It was fantastic. Inhaled it in about 6 minutes with no brain freeze. I was headed home after a looong walk (11.6 miles) and a small Dairy Queen was directly in my path. I’ve only been to a Dairy Queen once prior but was aware of this Superman movie promotion. The poster advertising the “Superman Blizzard” was in the window so I took it as a sign…literally I guess.

It was a standard vanilla cookie dough blizzard/shake/thing but was blue with red and yellow sprinkles. It even came in a cool Superman cup (wax paper unfortunately)! I miss the days of promotional tie-ins such as these. What would’ve been perfect is if the cups were plastic and collectable; perhaps featuring multiple characters from the movie. But I’ll take what I can get nowadays. I’m glad I didn’t miss it!

August 13th

Today was a job for Superman indeed. I volunteered as Superman at a local library to read to kids and parents about the origin of the character and the importance of doing the right thing and seeing the good in everyone.

I’m a veteran to events like these, so I know most kids zone out after about 2-3 minutes into these stories. But I think the parents appreciated the message I was reading at least. I purchased a copy of “I Am Superman” written by Brad Meltzer and illustrated by Chris Eliopoulos. I read through 4 children’s books on Superman and this one was by far the best. Filled with charming art and nostalgic nods, it really shows the heart of the character in a book you can read in about 6 minutes.

Did the kids get the message? Maybe. But the point is that “Superman” flew in and gave it to them. And, of course, plenty of pictures and fist bumps. Always time well spent in my book!

July 11th

Well, here it is. Superman Returns! Well…not that movie. I mean Superman returns to theaters today! I was able to catch a 4 o’clock showing on the mega screen of my local theater and it was indeed pure escapism. As it should be. Unapologetically comic book-sci-fi;breakneck speed. Not perfect by any means…but it understood the values of Superman and (hopefully) it’s the beginning of a well loved franchise.

I read from a lot of fans online that it felt like a long episode of Superman The Animated Series. And when you watch it with that mindset; it certainly does. Which isn’t a bad thing…as that is probably my favorite rendition of Superman in movies/television. The cast all had great dynamic. Lex Luthor was just nasty. Lois Lane was smart and confident. Jimmy was charming and funny. Superman was strong and likeable. I would’ve liked more Clark Kent. More of Ma and Pa. I wish the main cast had some more time together and the film breathed a little better. The entire two hour runtime is a frantic chase to save the world. It moves faster than a speeding bullet indeed. But this is the pace needed for the current generation I suppose. The film needed a more of “show don’t tell”.

All in all, Superman is back and I couldn’t be happier. David Corenswet’s Superman is kind and enduring with a great smile. Sure, he got his ass kicked 90% of the movie yet he came out on top. And I hope Superman comes out on top at the box office and the character can soar to new heights within pop culture.

PS: Mr. Terrific was the real MVP.

PPS: Summer ain’t over. I still have some Superman experience to share!

June 22nd

I saw a giant Superman billboard while driving on the expressway today towards the Chicago suburbs. I know being advertised to isn’t anything to write on your blog about, but the sight of this not only brought a smile but a bit of a realization: I can’t think of the last time I saw a highway billboard for a movie. Movies since COVID have been on such a tailspin that promotional efforts are nearly nonexistent by modern standards. And the superhero movie genre has become so tired and diluted in the past 15 years. Movies simply are not the moneymakers they used to be.

I’m not going to grandly proclaim that Superman is the start of the tide turning but I am hoping that it becomes a pop cultural event like the Barbie movie from 2 summers back. It has the makings for it: pure colorful dazzling escapism concerning a character everyone and their grandparents know. I’ve read articles on how it’s set to make total bank and how Superman posters are even being stolen from bus stops. But, again this is all just speculation and we won’t know until July 11th.

The most interesting aspect of this billboard was how the words “It Begins” have been added. Which I haven’t seen on any of the previously released Superman posters. Clearly stating that this is planned to be part of a franchise. It’s no surprise, of course, to want Superman to be an ongoing franchise. But your movie has to be good and a success first. It’s always ignorant when Hollywood crowns a “winner” before the race is even over. We all want Superman here to stay afterall.

June 14

Saturday I attended the annual Superman Celebration held in Superman’s adopted hometown of Metropolis Illinois. Christened as the hometown of the Man of Steel in 1972 ; the “Superman Celebration” has been happening in the second week of June since 1979. This was my second one I’ve personally attended and it is a true experience in Americana. It’s part comic convention and part small town fun fair. With the hub being the 15 foot statue of Superman in front of the town’s courthouse. The street is lined with food and craft vendors; local fundraisers and comic book dealers; the stores are open later offering their wares. And, of course, there’s the Superman Museum and gift shop; boasting the largest collection of Superman merchandise, props, and memorabilia under one roof.

It’s heartwarming seeing so many salt-of-the-earth people dressed in their “S” symbols (or dressed as Superman himself!) walking the streets and having a great time. I met locals who have been attending the celebration since they were toddlers. A good chunk of visitors (mostly from the midwest) “fly” in as well. With live music, a new Superman “drone” show, and different comic/superhero related programs throughout the day there’s enough to keep busy. The new “Kingdom Come” style Superman shield was worn by so many attendees that day, young and old alike, it made me hope this new Superman movie really propels the Man of Steel into the front of the line of pop culture relevance.

My wife and I took plenty of pictures, toured the Super Museum, found some Kryptonite, and ate some great burgers at Fat Ed’s down the street. Heck, even Spider-man showed up to pay his respects to the Man of Steel. Besides seeing the new film itself, I’m sure this will be the highlight of my Summer of Superman. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Every type of person; every color, size, and age come together with smiles to celebrate this iconic character (and probably for the foot long corndogs). And that’s how it should be. Superman is your friend after all. No matter where you come from.

June 11th

Long story short: I’ve been trying to put a Superman costume together to wear for my charity group. One that fits and presents well with a classic bright undeniable look. It seems simple enough, right? It’s “just” tights and a cape. But nothing worth doing is easy! It’s been a lot of troubleshooting, returning, reordering and customizing (since January!) But I think we’re finally finishing it up. I’m waiting on one more component before assembling everything and unfortunately I don’t believe it will be ready by the date I was aiming for but that is okay.

Superman is a symbol of hope and optimism. One of the most recognizable characters in all of pop culture. Most importantly, he’s a friend. And I’m hoping the new film makes an impact with the new generation ushering the Man of Steel into a new golden because we can use him today more than ever. Once completed, I’ll be posting pictures and results here. I definitely think it will be done before the movie’s release. And (finally) Superman will be visiting some children’s hospitals handing out gifts and bringing a better tomorrow. As he’s always been meant to do!

June 7th

Today I made a quick stop into a Walmart on the way back from doing an event downstate. Besides getting some mundane adult things, I decided to see if there was anything new for Superman this summer. Their toy aisle was fully stocked with what is currently available. I decided to pick up the 12 inch Superman as I was impressed with how well done he was. I never go for these larger figures as they’re usually too basic but this one seemed different. Plus it was under $10. I also stumbled upon Superman Keebler fudge striped cookies which was a surprise. There looks to be a TON of junk food that’s going to be tied in Superman, and this was the first I saw in person. I loved these cookies as a kid, and it was really neat to see them with a Superman overlay. I’d pick up a package but I’m not into eating this stuff anymore; But I appreciate the creativity.

I also ended my evening by reading the first issue of Mr. Terrific: Year One. It’s a six issue series that is serving as a prequel to Mr. Terrific’s appearance in the Superman movie. It grabbed my attention so I’ll definitely be keeping up with the limited series. I like a character that doesn’t have much “back reading” that you can just jump into. And I really love Mr. Terrific’s look. That’s what originally drew me in. I realized it was a day where I ogled cookies, bought an action figure, and read a comic book. But there’s always plenty of adult nonsense in between those things. So I appreciate the escape.

June 2nd

This is my humble Super-Shrine displayed on our living room bookshelf. It consists of a DC Direct Golden Age Era Superman Statue circa 1999, an encased glowing Kryptonite crystal, Phantom Zone die cast projector (it projects Superman’s logo up to five feet!), and a 3D printed bottle city of Kandor I glued into a bell jar. Subtle yet super, I always think less is more when it comes to collectible displays. Although with the Summer of Superman upon us I am open to adding some more artifacts in time. Who knows, it’s possible that this will grow from the corner and take up an entire shelf space. Like Parasite absorbing his latest victim.

May 30th

I stopped into a random Target on my way back from the library as I was tipped off about a pretty cool Superman tie-in comic that recently hit the magazine racks.I spotted it within seconds of entering the store and also picked up some neat new action figures of Superman and Mr. Terrific! It was interesting to note that the figures already looked picked over; hopefully signaling that Superman’s return is long awaited by the public.

The magazine consists of 3 single issues pulling from All Star Superman, Superman: For All Seasons, and Lex Luthor: Man of Steel with the cover claiming these are the “Official Comic Book Stories That Inspired The New Movie!”. Which I’m hoping is true.

This first little bundle of new Superman merchandise reminds me of when I used my paycheck on a similar “haul” for Superman Returns at a local Target during the summer of 2006. Like Supes, time sure does fly. Hopefully this film ends up with much better results.

04/02/202504/01/2025

Ad Nauseam: Superman And Bugs Bunny #1

When writing the latest installment of Ad Nauseam, I honestly never know when I’ll be inspired next. The comic and ads have to be just right to stir up those nostalgic buried recollections as well as the ability to humorously riff on them. It’s safe to say that the comic featured today may quite possibly be one of my favorite pulls in Ad Nauseam history!

Superman & Bugs Bunny #1 released July 2000.

A series of four issues released from July to October of 2000; Superman and Bugs Bunny was the first official crossover between the DC Universe and the Looney Tunes.

During my time writing these, I’ve come across advertisements within comic books for things I had no idea existed; yet I could only desire for them to have been a part of my youth (for better or worse). But this is the first comic book I’ve come across that I wished fell into my pruney-summer Cheeto dusted 12 year old hands. Bugs Bunny and Superman are two of my favorite things after all; and they’re as American as deep fried Oreos and gas station slot machines. Unfortunately, post millennium, both these characters lose relevance as time marches on due to mismanagement by their Warner Brothers overlords.

But we’ll sulk about the slow death of American pop culture icons in another pointless article. We have advertisements to chew the fat about! And this comic is practically obese with, what seems like, more advertisements than your standard 32 page comic book. So lets jump back to the summer of 2000: crack open this comic, blast the “Thong Song”, and be oblivious to the fact that every facet of American life will soon all be downhill from here. That’s All Folks!

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Fruity Pebbles Free Movie Tickets

Fun fact you don’t care about: I love The Flintstones.

I was the prime demographic for the 1994 live action film and ate that junk up like Dino with an oversized rack of brontosaurus ribs. I had the Happy Meal toys, a couple action figures, and a dream of one day owning a real life Dino the dinosaur. I was surprised when I learned how much vitriol the film received upon its release. So I recently revisited the 1994 film and, much to my surprise, it wasn’t half bad. The sets, costumes, and effects were solid as a rock. The soundtrack (led by the B-52s) was fun. And the plot, while overly complicated for a children’s movie, was competent. The Flintstones were always a lazily animated rip off of The Honeymooners to begin with, so I’m not sure what prehistoric sized stick critics had up their ass when this was released in 1994.

Sequels were immediately planned but everything fell apart before it began. So 6 years after the first film we received a “prequel” with none of the original cast that Steven Speilberg didn’t even produce. I’ll admit I only saw bits and pieces of this movie on television, yet I walked the entire set of “Rock Vegas” at Universal Studios Florida for a number of years. While I admit it had that Flintstones charm, it still didn’t make me want to see the movie. And, apparently, not even giving away movie tickets with the purchase of Fruity Pebbles worked as the movie bombed at the box office and is mostly forgotten.

In 2025, I believe The Flintstones are largely forgotten and mostly associated with the cereal we’re seeing advertised here. And even though I love me some ‘Stones, I don’t trust their colorful sugary poisons. As I’m pretty sure their vitamins I took every morning were simply colorful rock candy with no nutritional value.

Walt Disney World Quest: Magical Racing Tour

The chaotic camaraderie that Mario Kart brought to gamers was something that was quickly duplicated by many game developers. More specifically with the release of Mario Kart 64, soon every property suddenly had a wacky racing game over the course of a couple years. While some were solid, most were uninspired ripoffs that made you appreciate how well the Mario Kart games were designed.

Walt Disney World Quest: Magical Racing Tour, besides having the longest name for a racing game ever, was actually a decent multiplayer racing game. But what personally set it apart was how each course was set within an “actual” depiction of Walt Disney World. Complete with music, sound effects/bytes, and environment. Before being able to watch 1440p walkthroughs and ride throughs of any Disney Park attraction on your phone, you used to have to simply recall with words to “relive” it. This game was a nice little way to “retrace” your experience if you’ve visited Disney World, complete with the main menu taking you down Main Street U.S.A and selecting your course being a Disney park and attraction. I had a copy of this game on the Sega Dreamcast (remember that one?) years after it was released and I found it magically charming. Being a big Walt Disney World fan, I wasn’t even much into the racing aspect, as I normally selected “practice” mode and leisurely drove my go-kart to take in the sights; the Haunted Mansion course being my favorite.

Being a 25 year old game now, I find it even more desirable. As it’s locked into a Disney “World” of the past when I loved it most. I previously played this game to remember what Disney World is, yet now I play it to remember what Disney World was.

Sportz Snacks

There’s nothing quite as ironic as having a peak physical athlete at the top of their game being a spokesman for chemical laden junk food that will slowly kill you. That’s kind of the point of advertising though, isn’t it? Whoops, went a little too pessimistic there.

So anyway,

Ken Griffey Jr. reminds me of summertime. Playing baseball at a local park diamond. Sweating but loving it. Waiting for the sun to set so the fireflies would come out as you washed down some brightly colored sugar water given to you by your buddy’s mom. You were terrible but, damn it, it was baseball. And so was Ken Griffey Jr. Griffey was past his peak at this time. Notice he’s not even pictured eating the snack crackers. Just looking in the distance at something probably more important than sport-shaped snack crackers. And why wouldn’t he be? Griffey overcame suicide, had a line of baseball video games, and made guest appearances on Harry and the Hendersons, The Simpsons, and Fresh Price of Bel Air.

Snack crackers are for small timers. Little leaguers, dig?

Wild Thornberry Cereal

The best thing about coming across this ad was that it led me to a Breakfast Cereal wikipedia. And when I was delighted to find out they had an entry for Wild Thornberry Cereal, it just turns out it’s a page that simply says “This was indeed a cereal”. But it wasn’t a complete loss, as I discovered a website called “The Boxtop” (except the URL is not that in the slightest). It’s a blog for “Cerealists” established in 1999 with the latest entry going up to 2016. I recommend clicking around to witness the hodgepodge of culture you can only find from a web 1.0 blog. The Boxtop aka LavaSurfer.com aka Topher’s Castle also links several other cereal blogs. And I always get a little sad when the links lead to a broken page. But there still is one active link: Cerealously.net. I absolutely adore eccentric creativity like this that made the early days of the internet such a pandora’s box of adventure.

Here’s Rick’s brief review from The Boxtop:

Boxtop visitor, Rick Barr, sent us this scan of a new “Limited Edition” cereal from Post based upon the Nickelodeon cartoon series The Wild Thornberry’s. Rick reports that the cereal “is great stuff… very sweet. Tastes like Sugar Smacks with marshmallows. If you like Sugar Smacks you’ll love this cereal. I’m a sucker for new cereal — got to try anything new.”

The Wild Thornberrys were my “exit stage left” when it came to the entertainment of “Nicktoons”. I was lucky enough to grow up alongside the golden era of Nickelodeon. Adoring such originals as Ren and Stimpy, Rocko’s Modern Life, Rugrats, and that prepubescent milquetoast cuck Doug . And I’m not even mentioning the iconic game shows and sitcoms. Yet, come the millennium, when a new lineup of original cartoons debuted I yearned for “my” cartoons. Yet I soon realized that it was simply time for me to change the channel, as I’m not the demographic any longer. Spongebob, Rocket Power, As Told By Ginger, Chalk Zone, and The Wild Thornberrys were shows that made me realize that perhaps I am too old for this stuff.

NesQuik

I’m not certain, but I want to say the direction of this NesQuik ad was to parody the masculine cowboy smoking print ads of the time. If that’s the case, I find it pretty funny and an example of the creativity that would likely be stifled by today’s standards. Even though we’re in the middle of the year 2000, that 1990’s counterculture “edge” is still peaking through. I’d counter this ad with Toucan Sam giving Joe Camel a bowl of Froot Loops.

Trivia: Did you know Marlboro cigarettes were originally marketed for women? Looking to expand their market, they began the rugged cowboy marketing images in the 1950s and soon became a “man”’s brand. Neat!

The Mask/Pee Wee DVD

The most bizarre double feature at first…but also the best double feature of all time?

So why are they advertising Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (15 years old at this point). and The Mask (a ripe 6 years old)? Because they’re fresh on DVD! The great conversion! Perhaps you bought your favorite records on cassette…then your favorite cassettes on CDs.

If you notice, The Mask’s cover clearly states “This Film Edited For Family Viewing”. I tried to look into what this means exactly but found no specific information other than “it has some obscenities and profanities removed”. If you go back and watch The Mask as an adult, you immediately realize that the zany-campy-cartoony overlay is mere makeup on a very twisted, violent, and even promiscuous movie. Which still dials down the source material in which it’s based on. But I can immediately see some parents “falling” for what was marketed as a “real life” cartoon character portrayed by peak-wacky Jim Carrey. The magic of The Mask is in the same vein as Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, but feels more Judge Doom than Roger.

Superman Got Milk?

The “Got Milk?” ad campaign is a true staple of the 1990s. A verifiable “who’s who?” of pop culture. If you didn’t have a milk mustache in some print ad for “got milk?” did you even really make it? It was like getting your own Spaghetti O shape or “READ” poster. Starting commercials in 1993 with the print ads following in 1995, you almost felt vindicated when someone you admired was featured in a “Got Milk?” ad. My favorites being Stone Cold Steve Austin and even freakin’ Spider-man. So it makes sense that Superman would be featured, as he is the “Man of Steel” after all. And “milk builds strong bones”, right? That was the whole point of the ad campaign.

Well, actually it doesn’t. In fact, apparently the more milk you drink…the more likely your bones will break. That’s “Big Milk” for you. If I had a nickel for everytime a big corporation lied to me, they’d call me “Nickel-Man” because I would be known worldwide for having so many nickels. And people would be like, “Hey why don’t you deposit all those nickels, you’d have a fortune…” and I’d reply, “Why don’t you mind your own business? Then why would I be called Nickel-Man to begin with? Then Big Milk would just be lying to some guy that has a lot of money” and they would be like, “Hey what are you talking about? Big Milk? What do you mean?” and I’d just go “Ahh, forget it!” and motion that “nevermind” sign with my hands and go back into my Nickel cottage.

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Well, that about closes the comic on another exciting installment of Ad Nauseam! From cereals to Nesquik to Got Milk? ads, I didn’t expect to get so milk heavy in this article but here we are. I hope none of our readers are lactose intolerant. My favorite part of writing this article in particular was browsing those cereal blogs. I briefly mentioned how much I adore the eccentric creativity that made the early days of the internet such a pandora’s box of adventure. And I truly do. People carving out their own personal niche corner of the limitless lawless internet. Dedicating time, design, and buying a domain to create a digital shrine of your passion. Aspects like this still exist through social media. But social media is too autonomous and self defeating. But I suppose that’s “evolution” when it comes to our modern internet.

I recommend reading the actual issues of Superman and Bugs Bunny as it’s expertly written and illustrated. If you’re into that sort of thing. It was during this time that “evolution” hit both of these American pop culture staples. As time marched on in the new millennium, the Looney Tunes and Superman became less relevant by the year. And, beginning with the 9/11 terrorist attacks, our country became more pessimistic, angry, and fearful than ever. And I don’t believe we ever shook that. The hate, fear, and division is stronger than ever. Our country could use the silly escapism of Bugs Bunny and the Looney Tunes. And we can certainly use the hope, unity, and optimism of Superman. But I don’t know if we’ll ever get those days back. I guess that’s why nostalgia exists in the first place. Thanks for reading about 25 year old ads found in a silly comic book crossover.