Well let me tell you somethin’, BROTHER! Ad Nauseam is back and bigger than ever, dude! I’m grabbin’ comic books by the neck and lifting them above my head to the screams of 10,000 Ad-a-manics. I’m crackin’ these guys open and pulling out some crunchy pages of pure consumer capitalism, JACK! We’re talkin’ toys, video games, movies, all that junk you crave! So the only question you have to ask yourself is whatcha gonna do, brother?! Whatcha gonna do when another entry of Ad Nauseam runs wild on yooooooouuuu?!
Before big budget superhero flicks and shared Marvel cinematic universes; there was the golden age of professional wrestling. Meaty men in brightly colored tights dealing out superhero punishment in the name of cartoonish melodrama. So publishing comic books based on WWF feuds only makes sense. Talk about your pop culture coming full circle!
WWF BATTLEGROUND Released August 1991.
WWF Battlemania was a comic book series published by Valiant Comics that ran for 5 issues from August of 1991 to March 1992. Each issue consists of two wrestling “feud” stories, a double-sided poster, and – due to licensing terms – several WWF related advertisements as well as a twelve-page WWF Merchandising Catalog. Obviously these comics being absolutely busting with vintage WWF advertisements is why they’re currently the main event of Ad Nauseam. This is where the power lies!
So fasten your Python Power bandana, play some “Obsession” by Animotion, and read the rest of this paragraph in “Mene” Gene Okerlund’s voice: Its the moment none of you have been waiting for! Reading about 34 year old ads from a wrestling comic book! Can it get any sadder? It can! It will! So lets go down to the cyber ring for all the glorious ad-action!
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WWF Superstars for the Gameboy
These WWF titles on the NES and Gameboy were so damn enticing but always a let down. Each new game I’d always think would be different. To be able to have an official WWF wrestling match in your pocket or on your NES was what dreams were made of. But those dreams of winning the World Title at Wrestlemania had the “fun” of a frustrating pop quiz in your math class. I can only describe this era of WWF games like a clunkier Double Dragon. Every wrestler played the same. With small rosters. One or two match types. No taunts or “finisher” moves to be performed. I remember thinking the best thing about these games was hearing the 8 bit versions of a wrestler’s theme song at the selection screen. Mr. Perfect’s is still stuck in my head all these decades later.
Hulk Hogan & Ultimate Warrior Garbage
Okay, I choose these two WWF offerings because just look at them. I mean, the slippers are goofy. Fun…but silly. The fact that there is a large plastic Hulk Hogan head adorning the tips of your feet sounds like a request some crazed flamboyant sultan would make. Yet if I received these as a gift on Christmas morning, I wouldn’t be disappointed. Afterall, you don’t have the best judgement as a child. And you love what you love. So these slippers are ridiculous but appropriate.
Now the “chairs”. Holy God. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Even children of the 1980s had to think “Okay, now this is a little much.” A blue and red plastic chair sporting graphics of Hulk and Warrior on the seat and back would be just fine. But, instead, the designers of this thought it would be better to produce something out of your nightmares. A chair any child would think twice about sitting in. It’s like something out of Nightmare On Elm Street. Not to mention the simple reality that these are flesh colored plastic chairs of two shirtless hulking men that look like they’re constipated. They look like something you’d see at Elton John’s dinner table.
Hulk Hogan Vitamins
When you’re a world renowned pop culture icon and one of your catchphrases is “Say your prayers and eat your vitamins!” I am not at all surprised that there were Hulk Hogan brand vitamins. I also wouldn’t be surprised to learn if WWF tried to release a Hulk Hogan companion Prayer Book. This ad claims Hulk’s vitamins are made with only natural flavors and colors as well as no preservatives. When it came to vitamins, personally I was a Flintstones kid. I’m not sure if taking Hulk’s vitamins would’ve made a difference as most of these pro wrestlers were as “natural” as a deep fried Oreo. But I do know I would’ve garnered far more respect if the vitamins gave me a handlebar mustache in 2nd grade.
Lastly, it states that Hulk suggested “beta-carotene” be added. Which is a pigment (commonly found in colorful vegetables) that the body converts into vitamin A. Makes total sense as if you squint from enough distance Hulk Hogan looks like an unhinged sweet potato.
Tiger Electronics
Can you believe this ad? The absolute gall. Shame on you, Tiger Electronics. “World’s Best Games”? What an absolute slap to my prepubescent face.
You remember those awful Tiger Handheld LCD games? The ones we’d play because we couldn’t afford a Gameboy? We were told, “It’s the same thing, Spencer!” by our parental guardians. It wasn’t the same thing. It was beeping trash packaged in an impossible to open plastic shell for $19.99. Tiger Electronics would get the rights to some truly awesome video games like Mega Man 2, Tecmo Bowl, and Outrun. And then they’d create these simplistically braindead prehistoric “games” and package them in an alluring plastic shell complete with awesome official art and logos.
Perhaps you’d receive one of these as a gift. Or see them on the store shelf and think to yourself, “Altered Beast?! I don’t even need a Sega Genesis?! And I can play it ANYWHERE?!”
You just fell for the Tiger trap, bucko.
The idea of just firing up your favorite video game during a car ride or waiting room was fantasy to me…because of course it was. These were not your favorite video games. These were essentially bedazzled smoke detectors wearing the skin of Sonic The Hedgehog 3. Barely resembling the title it claims to be that made you want it in the first place. An erroneous trickster playing on your childlike inhibitions. Waiting to let you down on your birthday or Christmas. Chirping happily through its plastic shell. Then, an advertisement like this pops up in your comic book. Claiming the title “World’s Best Games” as if it’s synonymous with Tiger Electronics.
Tiger Electronics, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: Go suck a melon.
Tonka WWF Wrestling Buddies
The WWF Wrestling Buddies have to be one of the most ingenious and popular “dolls” for boys ever conceived. Growing up, these were a staple of nearly every friend I had. A Hulk Hogan or Ultimate Warrior wrestling buddy was as common in a boys bedroom as a flipping bed. As a child, you watch wrestling to emanate wrestling. You bet I’m climbing to the “top rope” to deliver a devastating elbow drop as often as Randy Savage did. But some marketing wizard at Tonka Toys had the genius idea to replace your common boring pillow with a pillow shaped like a wrestler. Incredible.
From the colorful alluring cartoonish designs, having “limbs”, to being nearly 2 feet in height…these toys were an absolute no-brainer when it came to boys and their natural masculine rage for wrasslin’! So much so that these have inspired generations of “wrestling” pillow buddies from the Ninja Turtles to Superheroes to even more wrestling promotions. They make “wrestling” buddies to “beat up” to this very day. As these are still a nostalgic staple of yesteryear and, no hyperbole, one of my personal favorite toys of all time. My Hulk Hogan “wrestling buddy” was part of my “decor” from childhood all the way to having my first apartment.
Afterall, there are two types of people in this world: those who have a decorative pillow on their couch that reads “gather” and those who have a 2 foot stuffed Hulk Hogan on their couch that reads “Hulk Rules”.
Suburban Commando
Suburban Commando is probably the movie trailer I’ve seen the most because it was shown at the beginning of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles home video. Seriously. The trailer, till this day, is ingrained into my brain permanently. I’ve seen the movie…don’t remember it…but the trailer? I could recite it beat for beat. I don’t remember much about this film other than 1.) It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be 2.) The Undertaker makes a cameo 3.) I WAS FROZEN TODAY. And 4.) I think there’s some interesting Alien makeup/creature towards the end.
As much of a Hulkamanic I am, I can’t defend Hulk Hogan’s Hollywood career. Simply put: it’s lackluster. 1989’s No Holds Barred is probably his “best” film as a lead. But even that is because it’s certainly a product of its time oozing absolute cheese. Hogan was the first crossover celebrity in professional wrestling, so it made sense for his films to be low brow, silly, and child friendly. They were marketing to the wrestling demographic of the time. Yet, even as a child, I knew these were stinkers. Not even Hulk Hogan could save them. What was most frustrating was that Hulk was such a poor actor. When it came to the world of wrestling, The Hulkster had charisma and energy for miles. Entertained millions live. But on the silver screen…he was subdued, monotone, and awkward. Every movie you were waiting for the Hulk Hogan we all knew and loved to break through. But it never came.
Rocky 3 is easily his best movie. It was also the movie that catapulted the character of Hulk Hogan. 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain is also some great 90s cheese. Hulk made a cameo in Muppets in Space. One of the worst Muppet movies.
But my personal favorite Hulk Hogan role? His cameo in Gremlins 2: The New Batch. What a glorious time capsule.
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And now the point of this article…
I began by saying professional wrestling is like comic books: Bright larger-than-life chiseled characters adorned in spandex dealing out massive amounts of punishment for the sake of melodrama. Complete with confusing history, catchphrases, and merchandise. Each weekly wrestling show is a comic issue featuring story arcs, “one-offs”, “specials” and “double issues”.
With that context, Hulk Hogan is the Superman of professional wrestling. The one who started it all. The blueprint for every “superhero” to follow.
Hulk Hogan wasn’t just the face of an era of professional wrestling—he created the era. He didn’t ride the wave of sports entertainment; he was the wave. A cultural tsunami that took professional wrestling out of bingo halls and into the living rooms, stadiums, and hearts of the entire world. Without Hulk Hogan, the term ‘main event’ would never have meant the same thing. He captivated the globe. He made believers out of skeptics. He gave hope, strength, and spectacle. And whether you cheered him or booed him, one thing was undeniable: you watched him.
“Mouth Of The South” Jimmy Hart and I at Hogan’s Beach Shop in 2018
I’ve been a Hulkamaniac as early as I can remember. It was never a fandom of peaks and valleys. Anyone who has known me can tell you that I never treated it as a fad.
For me, Hulk Hogan is Americana. Nostalgia. A warm positive feeling. Like hearing the theme song of your favorite childhood television show, taking a bite of your grandma’s home cooking, or fastening the cap of your favorite baseball team.
The character of Hulk Hogan was present throughout my life and attached to comforting memories. Even shared between friends and family. Beyond television, The Hulkster adorned my walls. Hulk showed up in the form of birthday and Christmas gifts. Magazines. Coliseum video tapes. I had epic “matches” against my Hulk Hogan pillow buddy. Bonded with fellow friends over his feuds and matches; fought over who would play as Hulk during those awful early WWF video games.
As I grew into a young man, Hulkamania never faded. Just evolved with a newly perceived sense of nostalgia. A “Hulk Still Rules” t-shirt was my first internet purchase ever back in 2002. A Hulk Hogan poster adorned my wall in college. “Real American” was my ringtone for over a decade. Weekly “TNA nights” with a friend as we’d reminisce of Hulk’s career while watching him on Monday’s “Impact Wrestling”. I had the privilege to be a part of the sea of Hulkamaniacs and watch him wrestle and appear live across multiple wrestling promotions. And as someone who witnessed it first hand several times, even in a smarky wrestling town like Chicago, the energy does change once the Hulkster makes his way to the ring. Pure charismatic electricity. That’s Hulkamania in full effect.
As my wrestling fandom winded down and I donated the childhood toys, threw away the magazines, and sold the t-shirts; Hulk Hogan was the exception .Wrestlers come and go but , just like the nWo, once you’re a Hulkamaniac…you’re one 4 life.
My Original Hulk Hogan Figure I’ve Had For As Long As I Remember. One of the ONLY original toys from my childhood I still own.
Not long ago when Hulk dropped the “Hollywood” for “Immortal” when being introduced, I had a dark intruding thought of when his day comes the irony would be palpable. But Hulk Hogan was immortal afterall. All the legendary wrestlers that have passed so young, Hulk was different. He was the guy. Not the top of the mountain. He was the mountain. But, time and again, life reminds us of its precious unpredictability.
I’m not someone who loses sleep over celebrity deaths. But, for my entire life, I was a solid subscriber to Hulkamania. Keeping up on all things Hogan. Hulk was always running wild.
And then it all came crashing down. Terry Bollea passed away July 24th 2025 at the age of 71. Clear as day, on the social media I’d see what Hulk was always up to; suddenly proclaimed that he was gone. That fire was extinguished.
It’s taken a few days for this realization to hit. You cannot let the opinions of others matter. The profound positive impact Hulk Hogan had on me as a child and adolescent is what matters most. I always looked up to him. Hulk Hogan brought me nothing but joy and entertainment for decades. Even as recently as this year, when “Real American” hits the arena; I’d be glued to my television. His message was strong and positive. The type of message a young man needs especially without a strong male figure in his life. Fight for the rights of every man. Fight for what’s right. Fight for your life! Believe in yourself, BROTHER.
Hulkamania will continue to run wild. Because it’s more than just a flawed singular man. It always has been. The legacy of Hulk Hogan isn’t just etched in the history of WWE—it is the history. Everything within professional wrestling worldwide that followed stands on the shoulders of Hulkamania. And beyond that, Hulk Hogan is one of popular culture’s most iconic characters. He’s the representation of strength, power, charisma. A Real American. Hulk Hogan was the phenomenon. The template. Hulk Hogan was, and always will be…immortal, brother.
JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE. TO FEEL RELIEF…in classic comic book fashion…IT RETURNS…
Once again, it’s that special time where we crack open ancient remnants of “entertainment” from yesteryear and inspect the various capitalistic poisons found in between the stories of our favorite fabled heroes. Tooth rotting cereals? Archaic video games? Forgotten candy contests?BEHOLD: Welcome to another thrilling addition of Ad Nauseam! Why am I still doing this? I honestly couldn’t tell you! Excelsior!
Tonight, we’re crawling inside Spider-man Magazine #8released in December of 1994.
Spider-man Magazine is an interesting little time capsule of the Wall Crawler’s storied history as it was published as a “companion” to the Spider-man Animated Series airing in November of 1994. The magazine ran for 19 issues (March 1994-March 1997) and was an amalgamation of everything that would appeal to a 6-11 year old of the 1990s: part comic book, part Zoobook, part Highlights complete with free trading cards and neat contests. It even featured the freakin’ X-Men.
I found this particular issue tucked in between some “gaming” magazines at a used bookstore. Despite being a Spider-fan, I had no previous knowledge of this magazine but I’ll be darned if it didn’t still look as appealing as it did on the newsstand 30 years ago. This short lived magazine isn’t too difficult to find and doesn’t go for much. Unless you want the final 6 issues (which were only available through home delivery). Thumbing through Issue 5, I saw potential as its advertisements and layout stirred some personal recollections. It passed the “vibes” check as the kids say.
Let’s channel December 1994. So turn off Garfield’s Christmas, put down that god-awful Tiger electronics handheld “game” Grandma bought you, chillax, and let’s swing into the advertised offerings of Spider-man Magazine #8.
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Gargoyles
Imagine turning the page and coming face-to-face with this ad. I may not have had money in 1994 but take all my pogs including my ninja star slammer and just feed me whatever this is. An absolutely chilling and beautiful illustration in its own right; I’ll do whatever “Gargoyles” tells me to do. Coming October 24th? You got it. I’ve marked it on my school planner. I’ll even pretend to be sick and take the day off.
Of course this is for the debut of Gargoyles the animated series.
You remember Gargoyles. You friggin’ do. Most adults of a certain age remember Gargoyles. Can you recall specifics? Maybe not. But the fact that this show was on air for a little over two years and it’s still something many recall decades later has to mean something, right?
I’ll tell you what it means: It means Gargoyles was pretty badass. Do you see the advertisement up there?
Gargoyles was essentially Disney’s answer to Batman The Animated Series. Dark, brooding, mature, and meticulous; it was a cartoon made as much for kids as it was for adults. Heck, it wasn’t a “cartoon”…it was an “animated series”. It was masterly animated, pushed the boundaries of episodic animated writing, and was able to be “mature” all while maintaining a rating for children and adults alike. The intro to the show alone makes me able to do, like, 100 pushups.
While the show had a short run, it still spawned a comic book, toyline, and Sega Genesis game. Many in the animation industry have claimed Gargoyles as an inspiration and it even had its own convention that ran from 1997-2009. It was called The Gathering of The Gargoyles and the website is still live. If I was scheduled to work at a convention center during The Gathering of The Gargoyles I would probably bring a Pepsi bottle of holy water and keep a crossbow in my trunk.
There have been talks of a live action movie and “reboot” for years now, but I always find Gargoyles pretty special as it’s been untouched since its original purpose. It ruled the night for a couple years. The sun rose on their time and they returned to stone. They never overstayed their welcome. And they’ll be remembered fondly. And in today’s reboot/remake/recast culture, I think that’s pretty admirable.
Power Rangers Power Pak
I’m always going to be open with you: This advertisement is the reason I purchased this issue. I mean, there’s some cool stuff advertised here but this? This is the nostalgic g-spot. For a mere $6.99 ($1.95 S+H) you could become the baddest kid on the playground. As you’ll realize with the following ads, The Power Rangers were peak popularity and merchandise gold by late 1994. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles craze faded and the Power Rangers took the preverbal power ball and morphed with it. Personally, at the time I was completely dedicated to all things MMPR. You recall that famous scene from Scarface where Tony Montana is sitting in his mansion surrounded by piles of cocaine and henchmen? I was like that, except in a midwest trailer park with Power Ranger junk and Mondo. Almost the same. Basically.
The Power Pak consists of a small unconventional plastic “canteen”, a “just come out and admit its a” rape whistle, knockoff lightsaber consisting of the least popular colors, plastic telescope that a Power Ranger couldn’t use if they tried, and an identification badge if the rape whistle doesn’t work. Sure, it’s just a bunch of marked up dollar store toys, but that’s the shameless beauty of trends. This stuff sits on the shelf of the strip mall dollar store yet slap a Power Rangers decal on it and you’re sending away for it like a mighty morphin’ sucker.
An ad like this is why I’ve been writing these articles for over 8 years. Wow that’s a bit humiliating when it’s written out. Throw in a pair of plastic electro-binoculars, a list of demented far-left opinions, and mark the price up 800% and you can call it a “Luke Skywalker” Power Pak.
Cap’n Crunch MMPR WristGame
Hey guess what? No time for guessing it’s 1994 and the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers are inescapable. The masses have kicked those pesky Ninja Turtles to the curb and have found new (non-turtle) color-coded teenagers with attitude. And Captain Crunch is docking his ship to the Mighty Morphin’ Money train.
There is so much going on in this illustration. I love it. It looks like a flyer for an underground punk show plastered on a telephone pole outside a dive bar. We’re assaulted with the Power Rangers “Computer Wrist Game” but also watch VR Troopers from Saban Entertainment and, oh by the way, eat Captain Crunch cereal too. Sugary Technicolor Capitalist Vomit that I would get tattooed on my damn gosh back!
Even 3 decades later, I’m still intrigued. There was a boy in my class that had a Mario Bros. game watch that I thought was pure illegal magic. This kid can play Mario? On his WRIST? AND HE CAN PLAY IT WHENEVER HE WANTS?! The idea of just firing up your favorite NES game during school secretly on your watch was fantasy to me…because of course it was. It was one of those crappy little LCD games that are essentially bedazzled smoke detectors. Barely resembling the title it claims to be that made you want it in the first place. And the “Power Rangers Computer Wrist Game” was no different. And I don’t even think it even tells you the (morphin’) time. An example of the idea being better than the execution. Yet, I have to admit, it looks radical. Take your $8.95, Crunch. Because wearing this unassuming colorful robot the size of a can of soda on my wrist will make me the talk-of-the-town (and also the biggest dork on the playground).
Nabisco Marvel SuperSnack Tins
Reward children for eating cookies. What can go wrong?
Clip those proofs-of-purchase off that Chips Ahoy or Oreo package and send it away for a Spider-man, X-Men, Iron Man, or Fantastic Four SUPERSNACK tin. I’ve actually used the Spider-man tin to collect my spare change for close to a decade without knowing where it came from. The mysterious magic of Ad Nauseam at play, folks!
As a child, do you have a favorite memory of a Christmas or Birthday gift you received? You probably do. But what about promotional mailaway items? Okay, maybe not. Personally, I always thought these were the most rewarding “gifts” as a kid. Cutting out and collecting proofs of purchases, finding a stamp and envelope, gathering change for shipping. Finally, riding your bike to the mailbox and dropping that bad boy inside. You felt like you were “earning” something! And then the waiting game began. Remember, most of these things took 8-12 weeks for delivery. And, in kid time, that’s 3-6 years. So you completely forgot about it.
You come home from a monotonous day of school and you’re told there’s a package for you. Strange. There’s, like, never mail for you…you’re a child. Then you feverishly pull apart the packaging, the memories of what the heck is in your hands warmly floods back, and the serotonin goes into overdrive. Behold! Your long awaited treasure turns your mundane day into an exciting one!
I’ve had many Christmases and Birthdays with gifts that accompanied them. And I am grateful. Yet I can’t recall most of what I received in those days. Yet I can name the 5 mailaway promotions I took part in. Interestingly, If I received a Star Wars stamp set, Superman poster, or Indiana Jones flashlight as Christmas gifts I probably wouldn’t remember them. But because I “worked” for those particular things in question…at an age where money and responsibilities aren’t vast…I remember them 25+ years later and appreciate those objects a little more. Perhaps the lesson being earning things can feel more rewarding even leading to pride? Imagine that. Who says these articles have no redeeming qualities?
Spider-man may have been on his way to Marvel’s quintessential superhero animated glory, but he wasn’t the first there…as the X-Men reigned supreme at this time. So much so that Spidey shared this very magazine with the X-Men. X-Men already had some pretty awesome promotions but this one in question being arguably the most overlooked: exclusive “caps” with your Target Kids Mutant Meal. “Caps” being a term for unofficial Pogs. It’s difficult to get any more 90’s than receiving X-Men “pogs” from a department store cafeteria. Maybe if Steve Urkel handed them to you I guess.
I’ve been to a couple Targets that still have traces of a cafeteria (referred to as “Food Avenue” in this ad) though not as robust as they were 30 years ago. The point being these department stores were a place to spend the day; complete with daily sales and a place to get a hot meal. I spent an obnoxious amount of time in my local K-Mart as a kid complete with getting food at the “K-Cafe”. Pizza, burgers, sandwiches, popcorn, cotton candy, and Icees adorned the menu. I believe they even had breakfast options in the mornings. And frequenting K-Mart as often as I did, you couldn’t help but notice the “regulars”. The lonely single seniors with their paper and coffee. The downtrodden simply spending the day there. Teenagers taking advantage of the sitting space to read magazines without buying them. And, of course, the blue light specials over the intercom that kept many of them alert. These “cafes” bred a whole type of culture of its own. Not a “coffee shop” scene…but not quite a “homeless shelter” vibe either. It was somewhere right down the middle. And there’s been nothing quite like it. And I can’t say I miss it.
It’s interesting to think the modern trend is being able to pick up items without even leaving your car. These “restaurant” sections shuttered over the last couple decades. What does that make of the lonely, the societal misfits, the aimless youth that inhabited it? Was it for the best?
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Well, folks, that’s another Ad Nauseam for the books. Covering some interesting yet silly offerings found between the pages of a 30 year old Spider-man Magazine. A couple years back I was working on an Ad Nauseam installment when a coworker asked what I was doing. I answered, “I write about old advertisements found in comic books…” to which he simply and genuinely replied, “Why?”. I chuckled but the simple question really made me ponder on it for a bit. I recall that interaction whenever I write a new installation.
This is the 17th installment of Ad Nauseam written over the course of 8 years. It doesn’t feel like it’s been that long. But I’m proud of these. It’s a way to wax nostalgic to myself about things that a very tiny number of people find interesting. It’s a great exercise of recollection, bad humor, and introspection published into the void of my website. There have been so many personal life changes over the course of those 8 years that sitting down to write these articles have become nostalgic in themselves. I recall different times that feel long ago when writing these articles that fill me with a specific warmth. The kind of warmth I felt when writing about these advertisements of simpler times. The act of writing about nostalgia has, in fact, now become nostalgic to me. It’s a great way to glance at the past, smile, and keep moving forward.
You’ll always find “insight” into comfy comic culture here on ChrisDoesComics. “Why?”
Why not?
Oh, and below are the trading cards that came with my magazine.
It’s alive! This is my LiViNg journal of Halloween related activities I’ll be updating from October 1st to October 31st! Return every weekday to read my random seasonal ramblings and see what spooky nonsense I’m up to!
The tail end of the Halloween season marched on for the past few days. Not as strongly as I wanted, but I’ll take it any way I can. We took a few days off work and headed down to the family household early to decorate for trick or treats. We weatherproofed some outdoor ambient lighting. Set up our blaring sound system and indoor lighting “network”. Spread cobwebs everywhere and jammed foam tombstones as deep as we could in the front yard. Ziptied plastic skeletons to various outdoor furniture. We ended the evening with dinner at a local dive bar with deliciously greasy food. The same as we did last year. Yet none of the patrons were in costume like the year prior.
Halloween felt subdued in our area. It could be because we spent the entire week prior out of state. It could be because many festivities were thrown the weekend before the actual holiday. But time seemed to just be flying by, even more so than usual, and it was a strange feeling to even be celebrating Halloween. It seemed to sneak up on us like some sort of supernatural horror movie slasher. And it went as quickly as it came. Halloween day was gray and aggressively blustery. We lost several tombstones to the wind in the early morning. A couple showers throughout the day made you feel a little more hopeless. I told myself that at least it wasn’t snowing like last year.
Trick or treating trickled in at 5 PM. Per tradition, I dressed as Michael Myers and stalked the yard silently; spooking those who’d stop by. The streets had a solid amount of zombies, skeletons, Ninja Turtles, and princesses for the next couple hours. Yet it still seemed lighter than usual. The night came to an end. Another successful spooky Halloween in the books. By noon the next day, all the decor was back in its rightful storage place as if it never even happened. In retrospect, it almost felt like Halloween didn’t even happen. We didn’t even look at decorations through various neighborhoods or carve a pumpkin. And, if you lived in America, you certainly know that starting November 1st, everyone goes full Christmas. Completely burying any remanence of Halloween that came just 24 hours prior. But the beauty of the holidays is: there’s always next year.
As I look forward to the coziness and warmth of the upcoming holidays, I always mourn the Halloween season. My personal favorite time of year. I already have some big changes in store for next season and I look forward to documenting them in next year’s Halloween Daily Blog. I hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween season and you all carry some spookiness with you all year round. Thank you for reading and…
October 28th:
Earlier this year I was digitally browsing decades old monster comic magazines for inspiration when I came across an ad for a mail away mask of this goonish-like mutant. I loved the ad and the mask and made a mental note to come back to it and see if I can track down the mask somewhere online. Long story short, I can’t find the ad and I tried to retrace my steps numerous times with no luck. The mask in question, as far as I recall, looked similar to this Beach Goon mask. It’s not a dead ringer but I could see them being in the same family. When searching for this particular advertisement I came across The Monster Mask Catalog Archive which, while not what I was originally looking for, felt like I stumbled upon a goldmine regardless.
This archive features dozens of Halloween catalogs scanned in page by page at a solid resolution spanning decades. It’s so fun to hypothetically pick what you’ll be by browsing these decades old treasure troves of spooky delight. Besides scanning the choices offered from the 1960s and 1970s, I started browsing particular years from the late 1980s to the mid 1990s to see if I’d dust off the cobwebs and drum up any personal memories of Halloween’s past. And I certainly did. I wrote previously about nostalgic recollections of Halloween found in local drugstores, as I found many of the costumes offered in these very archives. Possibly the first time seeing them since those days long ago. They appear in some of the Collegeville archives from 1992 and 1993. I recall thumbing through those weird vinyl “jumpsuits” of Superman, Batman, a Ninja Turtle, and Sonic the Hedgehog at my local drugstore. Taking in the weird plastic smell and wondering why all these characters had their logos and pictures of themselves on their chests.
There were also many deluxe latex Halloween masks I recall seeing in various front yard displays throughout my childhood. Interesting to see that these masks were quite expensive in their day and can’t help but think of the owners leaving these masks out in the unpredictable midwest weather every fall. There’s also many props, masks, and latex limbs I remember fearing as they were used in local haunted houses and “spook sheds” at various pumpkin farms and haunts when I was younger. The Monster Mask Catalog Archive is an incredible resource if you’re into this niche. And if you’re here, I suppose you are. Browse the collection and put yourself back in those days of being a child and decide what you’d be for Halloween this year. It’s time well spent!
October 20-27th:
A bit of a cop-out, I know. But as soon as my art reception was finished, my wife and I whisked off to a much needed vacation to the Catskill Mountains in New York. I wanted to dedicate my time to the present and be phone-free, so I decided to halt the blog posts for the time being.
In all honesty, I expected to return with individual updates of our various Halloween-related activities but, surprisingly, we didn’t find much to represent the spooky season in the northern mountains. In fact, we both noticed the severe lack of pumpkins where we were. We usually have our “getaways” during the fall season as it’s our favorite time of year. And it is during those trips that we’ll sample a spooky smattering of pumpkin farms, haunted houses/mazes, and ghost tours. Unfortunately nearly none were to be found amongst the Catskill Mountains.
We spotted some decently decorated houses throughout. Although the “oversized skeleton” decor ran its course by house number 8. They were still few and far between. Talking to some locals, Halloween seemed to be a bit of an afterthought. Bartenders admitted to us that a couple “costume parties” in nearby bars were a bust with little to nobody showing up. Listening to their local radio, when on the subject of Halloween…it was talked down to…as if it was something childishly foolish to even think about celebrating. A town wide “trick or treat” was happening on a particular day we were walking the shops with only two trick or treaters spotted. We went on a ghost tour in Schenectady, yet even the tour guide’s cadence was “eh, whatever” after every tale he told.
Sure, it was only a week spent in late October within a small sampling of New York…so it would be dramatic and ignorant to declare “Halloween is dead!” when regarding my opinion of that area. But, if anything, it made me realize how well the midwest embraces the Halloween season. Within about a 15 mile radius we have dozens of haunted attractions, pop-up stores, incredibly creative decorated houses, local dances/fairs/festivals, and a bunch of pumpkin farms within a 20-30 minute drive. And, understand, I always believed we could’ve done more. Count your blessings as they say.
It wasn’t all a spook-less bust though. We did have breakfast in a quaint old diner where the servers were discussing their journeys on purchasing their grandkids Halloween costumes. And a pirate themed bar where the owner told us was haunted by a mysterious woman. You can’t escape Halloween. It just may not always be a big bright orange jack o’lantern glowing right in your face.
October 19th:
My wife and I made a slight excursion on our way to New York to spend the night in historic Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. A town that absolutely embraces its haunted history in a way both good and bad. I had driven nearly 11 hours getting there and we were only spending the night so we were unfortunately on a bit of a time crunch; but we did stroll the downtown area, get some dinner, and go on a ghost tour.
Sachs covered bridge being the highlight. Built in 1852, used by both Confederate and Union forces during the Battle of Gettysburg, the bridge served as the execution site for at least three Southern soldiers, providing the backdrop for the supernatural activity said to take place there. Being a decent evening in October the bridge was quite crowded with activity…not ghostly per se…but with amatuer ghost hunters including a cringy young woman lighting candles to host a “seance” as Disturbed played through her bluetooth speaker. A real vibe killer.
There was a lot of firsthand knowledge of hauntings throughout the town of Gettysburg (rightfully so) supplemented by ghost tours taking place through multiple companies seemingly every 15 minutes. Take that how you will. We plan to revisit the town of Gettysburg much more thoroughly in the future, definitely not during the October season. The horrors that took place and lives ripped away all across that town is simply unfathomable. The American history there is tragically rich. Yet Gettysburg stands today bloated with hokey overpriced souvenir stores, ice cream parlors, medicorce restaurants and gimmicky ghost tours. The streets lined with an amalgorithm of tourists and locals treating it almost like some sort of warped Beale street/Magic Kingdom concoction. Tasteful? No. Disrespectful? Yes. Uniquely American? Indubitably.
October 18th:
I have my own art show the entire month of October at a wonderfully charming gallery in Ottawa Illinois called Openspace Art Gallery. Downtown Ottawa is such a hip cozy town. It’s like something out of a Hallmark movie but more artsy and not as corny or redundant. I’ve been part of a solid amount of art shows. And I’ve been lucky enough to be a part of several art galleries. But this my first solo show. Which, if you’re an artist, is a big deal. It means 1. You have the AMOUNT of art pieces to fill an entire gallery and 2. The gallery owners (also artists) think your art is strong enough to dedicate an allotted time in their business to your art ONLY. So this show is all very inspiring, hopefully to others as well, as I always want to evolve and grow as an artist.
The reception was held tonight. We had a great turnout complete with pumpkin cookies, spooky art, and a full moon. The two hours absolutely flew by and I felt so privileged for everyone that came.
I create my art because I need to. Financial gain and trends are never a driving force. Growth is. Every piece is a challenge because it needs to be. Yet despite all that inner turmoil, if my artwork makes someone decide to pick up a pencil and draw something that’s been in their head the past few days…then that makes it all of this worth it. To submit to that cycle of inspiration. And let creators create in their own way. You don’t need hashtags, followers, and blue check marks to be an accomplished artist.
October 17th:
About 6 years ago I was on Youtube rifling through various “lo-fi hip hop” and VHS filtered “synthwave” livestreams when I found something even more chill with nearly every type of niche represented: the endless world of Ambiance Videos. Calm and relaxing, ambiance videos are meant to be supplemental…to set the mode…feed a vibe. Like a larger, more creative sequel to those endless “burning yuletide logs”. It’s something you put on in order to do something else. Obviously with the Halloween season being here, I compiled a few of my favorite “spooky” ambience videos for your consideration:
Sitting On The Porch On Halloween Night: Crickets, rustling leaves, and fall inspired oldies music playing from another room. A basic standby when it comes to Halloween ambience perhaps…but for good reason. Here’s a similar one for good measure.
1980s Halloween Channel Surfing: Another nostalgically creative ambience video. The full moon shines on a humble spookily decorated living room complete with 80s era technology. Complete with a television playing all things horror from that era at a low volume. This video plays the complete classic Night of the Living Dead with classic Halloween commercials scattered in between.
Great Pumpkin Ambience and Music: Just discovered this one. As simple and lowkey as a Peanuts cartoon. The classic pumpkin patch fills your screen with the sound of wind, leaves, and (most importantly) the warm chill Peanuts music by Vince Guaraldi. So relaxing.
Halloween 4 Neighborhood Ambience: This one is an example of those niches you can find when delving into the world of ambience. For whatever reason, I think Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers is the coziest of the Halloween movies that really captures the vibe of small midwest Halloween. This video is just 90 minutes of Haddonfield on Halloween night ‘88 with the sound of wind, owls, crickets, and passing trick or treaters.
Beetlejuice In The Attic: This one is so well done and creative I had to include it. It’s Danny Elfman’s score to Tim Burton’s Beetlejuice but it all takes place from the attic’s perspective. The time of day changes. The tv flickers on. The wall opens. The model of the town reacts accordingly. It plays Harry Belafont’s calypso music. It’s like if you want to experience Beetlejuice without having to follow plot and dialogue. Strange and unusual? Yes but I myself am strange…and unusual.
These are cozy to play when eating a fall inspired meal, decorating your home for Halloween, or even reading for a bit. Nothing too distracting or loud, just a different vibe for a specific environment. There’s so many types of ambient videos out there by such talented creators that, with a little searching, you’ll undoubtedly be able to find your “vibe”.
October 16th:
Tonight I finally got to see 1941’s The Wolf Man on the big screen.
I say “finally” because the Wolf Man is my favorite Universal Studios monster and even though those films are considered horror classics, it’s still tough to track down a local screening; with your best chance being during the Halloween season. I’ve been lucky enough to see Dracula, Frankenstein, The Bride of Frankenstein and The Creature From The Black Lagoon (in 3D!) at some historic Chicago theaters. Yet the Wolf Man always eluded me.
The Universal Monsters still bring in a crowd. Over 80 years later, The Wolf Man dragged in monster fans of all ages. The theater had a table in the lobby showcasing a local artist’s classic monster model kits assembled and painted. Live organ music played before the show. And a spooky Betty Boop and Three Stooges short accompanied the feature. An absolutely classic night at the movies in every way possible (except the prices).
Personally, I believe Halloween is a holiday most linked with movies. One can argue Christmas, yes, but Halloween’s entire image is shaped after horror films and spooky movies. Christmas films are based around the holiday’s traditions and the films themselves pop up during the season. The Horror genre is present all year and (if big enough) influences the Halloween season through decor, costumes, haunted houses, and music. Creating fresh traditions; adding to the lifeblood of the spooky season.
Speaking of movies, my bucket list classics left to see on the big screen would probably be Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein, The Mummy, and (a personal favorite) The Invisible Man.
October 15th:
1982’s Creepshow is a bloated forgettable slog of a movie.
There I finally said it.
Horror anthology movies have always been a mixed bag in my opinion. Which is the allure of them I suppose. Several short spooky stories tied together as a feature length film is as “horror” as it gets, dating back to the spooky comic titles of the 1950s like Tales From The Crypt or Vault of Horror. Several scary stories for the price of one! It’s a subgenre that has had a resurgence over the years with such movies like V/H/S, Trick Or Treat, and All Hallow’s Eve.
Amongst the horror community, Creepshow has gotten a lot of positive attention the past decade or so. And how can it not? It’s an 80s horror film written by Stephen King, directed by George Romero, with Tom Savini’s makeup effects and wrapped up with a comic book presentation. The movie was a big hit in its day too, spinning off a sequel and the Tales From The Darkside television series. But despite all the talent and style involved I still think the movie is a forgettable swollen corpse.
The acting is goofy and over-the-top as it should be. The comic book styling is fantastic. The vibrant lighting and illustrated overlay effects and framing does make it feel like it’s a slimy horror comic come to life. And, with that, I expect the stories presented to be tacky, heavy handed, even predictable in nature. But, even then, each story runs far too long. Bloated with unnecessary details and exposition that add nothing to a plot in which an 8 year old knows the direction we’re headed.
“The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill”is my personal favorite of the stories presented. And that’s because Stephen King’s acting is so incredibly goofy yet innocent that he keeps your attention. And this short story moves at a good pace with a “less is more” humorous direction.
“Something to Tide You Over” is a distant second. Interesting premise. But you can easily shave about 30% off its runtime and it would flow much better.
Creepshow doesn’t have the cleverness of The Twilight Zone (or even Night Gallery) that came before it. Nor does it have the briskness and impact of Tales From The Crypt. All these brilliant minds of horror came together and showed me that they have a hell of a style and solid premise…but when it comes to execution…it made me want to put on a better anthology film. I’d recommend 1993’s Body Bags or even Creepshow 2.
October 14th:
I wrapped up casually reading this year’s edition of Archie’s Halloween Special.
The only comic book subscriptions I’ve ever had were Daredevil and Archie.
The comic books I read month to month were dark, dramatic, high stake episodic adventures. Kinda the point of comics, right? But sometimes the dark dank rainy streets of Hell’s Kitchen and Gotham become a burden. That’s when the sight of light, nostalgic, sunny Riverdale came along. Nearly 200 pages of Archie and his pals’ wholesome antics put together in a pocket sized digest. Archie was my “go-to” book whenever I had some downtime on the go. Nowadays I usually only pick up the Halloween and Christmas special as they’re the coziest and really cast the seasonal mood.
Inside consists of some new Halloween comic strips compiled with classic ones from the 70+ years of Archie comics publication archives. What’s great about these comics is the changing of art styles (especially fashion) throughout a comic digest. The Archie gang were always stylish for the time, so they were drawn that way. I love playing the game where you can spot saddle shoes and poodle skirts to bell bottoms and beetle boots to rolled up jacket sleeves and shoulder pads. You’re seeing Halloween through the ages. Reading a comic that perhaps some elderly person in the retirement home read when they purchased it for a dime at the corner drugstore.
As the cover says, this is “The Official Comic Book of Halloween” and that’s true as far as I’m concerned. Next time you’re in your grocery store or drugstore take a look to see if they still carry Archie Comics (they’re usually at the checkout). It’s a great spooky indulgence this time of year.
October 12th and 13th:
I’m sharing 2 different recent sets of General Mills monster cereal mascot prizes that I’m sure you all know: Count Chocula, Frankenberry, Boo Berry, and Frute Brute. Yummy Mummy inexplicably absent. For shame! The 3 smaller figures were offered individually as a prize in General Mills cereal boxes back in October of 2021. They had 6 of their “Cereal Squad” mascots dressed in Halloween costumes PLUS the famed monsters. Apparently the chance of you pulling these monsters out of your sugary box ranged from “very rare” to “ultra rare”. I didn’t partake in this promotion because I rarely eat cereal. Today, these figures go for around $15 to $20 a monster on eBay. I acquired these earlier this year stumbling upon an eBay listing riddled with spelling errors and poor keywords. $12 for all 3 monsters. And I didn’t have to devour multiple boxes of sugary byproduct!
The second set (taller with solid colors) was won from a promotion that ran in October of 2022. The back of the seasonal Monster cereal boxes had unique codes to enter through a website; in which winners were drawn at random. The winner would receive a set of 4 of the figures pictured (“redesigned” by the “artist” KAWS). Not only did I find out you could enter once a day; but I also found out they were giving out A LOT of these sets of figures; AND a single code you enter is good for every daily entry. So I figured with some determination and luck on my side, I’d give it the ‘ol college try. I entered 3 times a day; under 3 different e-mail addresses; 7 days a week. After about 5 weeks of doing this…I received an email that I had won and received them about 2 weeks later in the mail. This set goes for about $14 on eBay. That’s a little over $3 a figure. Cheap? Yes. But I won these. These monsters are mine. And nobody can take that away from me.
October 11th:
Tonight I’m recommending THE SUPERMAN MONSTER a one shot comic book released in October 1999 from DC Comics. As the title suggests, it’s an elseworlds tale stitching together the legend of Superman and Frankenstein creating a familiar and spooky super story.
This was a follow up to 1998’s similar oneshot Batman: Two Faces which was a tale taking pages from Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with Bruce Wayne being both crime fightin’ Batman and anarchistic serial killer The Joker; all while hunting down Two Face in Victorian-era Gotham City. After the story of Batman: Two Faces; The Superman Monster is unfolded by Daily Planet Editor-In-Chief Perry White toCommissioner Gordon over drinks at the Iceberg Lounge. The story takes on the familiar beats of the Frankenstein story with enough Superman lore to make it a title worth remembering for fans of either character. With mad scientist “Viktor” Luthor discovering the deceased alien remains of an infant; Using the strange “S” crest as a breastplate and electoral conductor; the “Superman Monster” wearing the black “revival suit”; The super powers causing The Monster to behave erratically to his “rebirth”; Stumbling upon the “Kent”’s farm as a way for The Monster to learn humanity; Eloise (Lois) serving as the eventual “bride”; and the “mad” Luthor searching for The Monster whereabouts in what he calls a “fortress of solitude”; the book was familiar, clever, and entertaining all within the span of 52 pages. I recommend reading it by Jack O’lantern light and sipping hot cider. The Superman Monster is written by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning with artwork by Anthony Williams, Tom Palmer, and Lee Loughridge.
October 10th:
Tonight was a creepy cartoon cavalcade of animated Halloween treats.
There’s 1985’s Garfield’s Halloween Adventure. My personal classic that I included last year in my Daily Halloween blog. It aired alongside The Great Pumpkin for 14 years in a row before it was abruptly stopped in 1999. I still recommend Garfield’s Halloween Adventure; especially if you have young kids and want something safe yet spooky for them to watch.
Disney’s adaptation of Washington Irving’s classic tale: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. Cozy and classic, Bing Crosby narrates (and sings) the story of Ichabod Crane and his run-in with the legend of the Headless Horseman. Released in 1949, this is some peak Walt Disney animation and production. With every background being a work of art and Ichabod’s movement/expressions being downright hilarious.
A special that needs no introduction is It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown broadcasted in 1966. The special’s enduring popularity helped define Halloween for baby boomers and contributed to the spread of Halloween as a widely celebrated holiday. Its viewing has since been established as a common Halloween tradition and its 2003 rebroadcast was the most successful holiday special of the 2000s with 13.2 million viewers. Since 2020 the Peanuts specials are all streaming “exclusives” on Apple TV. Completely ruining its broadcast legacy and causing millions who are incapable of dealing with all these different app and streaming nonsense to not see it. Good grief.
Finally, we finished with The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror V originally broadcasted in 1994. The Simpson’s fifth Halloween special. This episode, in particular, is known for its adaption of “The Shining” and the late James Earl Jones briefly voicing Maggie. This is the first time I’ve added a Simpsons anything to a holiday list as I don’t know anyone besides myself who enjoys The Simpsons. It’s interesting that the show is so clearly revered by so many; yet whenever I’d bring up The Simpsons I’d get shut down quicker than an axe to the back of Groundskeeper Willie. Therefore, the act of enjoying The Simpsons has sort of become something I do in solitude. A love all for myself I suppose.
October 9th:
The Blowmold Blues
Do any Halloween-heads out there actually prefer the loud goofy inflatable lawn decorations over the bright glowing sturdy blow molds of yesteryear? Have you ever driven around your neighborhood and seen front lawns littered with colorful trash bags but realize it’s all those inflatable decorations sleeping on the job? It’s tacky and garish. And even though those two adjectives may seem appropriate for Halloween, those decorations defile it in a negative way.
Of course, those were the same thoughts back when it came to blow molds. Those charming plastic figures that give a warm glow come Halloween and Christmas. They’re called “blow molds” due to the method used to make them: melted plastic is blown into a mold. They were produced as early as the 1940s, but didn’t really catch on until the late 1950s(made popular by such companies as Union and Empire plastics) and were yard staples through the 1990s. You can still find some out and about today. Problem is many have stopped being produced, which means their value goes up, and nostalgia sets in. Suddenly that 36 year old Jack O’lantern blow mold that lights up your porch is going for $150 in used condition at an antique store. Your ‘ol Halloween standby is now a collectible!
I get it, styles change…companies close…that’s why lawns are now littered with what looks like humming inflatable circuses. In 30 years, will people be nostalgic for those? Will there be an antique store with an inflatable minion dressed as a vampire that only partially inflates for $200? Only time will tell. I still enjoy spotting classic blow molds in their natural habitat when I drive through neighborhoods looking at Halloween decorations. Its become a rare but cozy fall feeling. In my youth, I’d say seeing a blow mold displayed in a front yard amongst the decorations was extremely common during the holidays. So much so that they were completely unremarkable. Now if one out of every six decorated houses has one, its become a sight to behold. A relic from your past illuminating the night.
Trivia: Did you know the classic lawn Pink Flamingo was the first blow mold produced?
October 8th:
Halloween time is that special time of year for all the horror-heads to hit their blogs, vlogs, and social media to talk about the most underrated and overrated horror movies with opinions that will just shock you! Forget over and under…what about just rated?
For that, folks, I give you our movie of the evening: 1990’s Arachnophobia.
Arachnophobia is a perfectly serviceable movie. It works even better if you don’t like spiders. The director Frank Marshall does a fine job. Jeff Daniels leads a cast that does an adequate job. The cinematography and music is acceptable. The practical effects are satisfactory. Arachnophobia simplyisn’t risky enough in any way for the modern internet age to crown it “underrated” or slap the tired title of a “hidden gem” on it. It’s sufficient. And that’s okay.
I used to watch this movie here and there as a child. It had enough grossness and playful demeanor to keep me entertained. I kinda equated the tone to Gremlins; meaning it was light and humorous yet with serious repercussions. I decided to watch it last night because my wife hates spiders (how original) and this movie was made for people like that, right? Rewatching it from beginning to end for the first time in (nearly) 30 years, I realized how going “big” in horror isn’t always a benefit. The plot of Arachnophobia is as grounded and small as the spiders themselves. The horror mostly comes from the situations you wouldn’t want a spider involved in (there’s a spider in my shower; in my slipper; in my food) but it’s not over-the-top and garish. Throughout the film, I couldn’t help but think how diluted this movie would be with the modern use of CGI.
There isn’t a dog sized spider in the final act that webs up the loved ones and townspeople. The spiders don’t “talk”. The spiders don’t have green mucus oozing from their fangs. Nobody gets covered head to toe in a “blanket” of spiders. The “invasion” of these spiders doesn’t even involve anyone outside this small country town. So I appreciated the grounded take on all this. Here’s some regular sized spiders in a small town that have super toxic venom. Watch the f*uck out.
Arachnophobia isn’t overrated or underrated. It’s just rated. And after you finish watching it, you’ll probably be checking your walls more carefully, be more suspicious of any itch on your body, and check under your covers before going to sleep that night. That’s effective filmmaking. So it’s a win in my book.
October 7th:
As more Star Wars projects get made, I’ve come to terms that I do not like a majority of Star Wars. That being said, I am still passionately enthralled with a very select time frame within it…and I’ve stayed within that bubble to appreciate Star Wars again and, in my opinion, how it’s meant to be. That’s the beauty of the lore within the galaxy. I recently (and finally) beat 2002’s Star Wars: Bounty Hunter. It’s an action title focusing on Jango Fett’s peak bounty hunting adventures that served as a “prequel” to Episode II: Attack of The Clones. Why am I talking about a 22 year old Star Wars video game in a Halloween blog? Well, because the final mission takes place on, essentially, a cemetery planet. And it’s some classic transylvanian horror spookage.
The level takes place on Kohlma, which is nicknamed The Moon of the Dead because of a deadly war where the entire moon became a memorial tomb for the fallen. Since you’re playing as Jango Fett, you’re there to eliminate Komari Vosa…a force sensitive cult leader of the “Bando Gora” who created an army of drug addicted husks to be mindless assassins and slaves. Evil stuff, right? The silent “Bando Gora” assassins look like mummified remains with glowing red eyes. Some donning the skulls of a ram-like creatures. And the level itself looks like something out of Castlevania and a Hammer horror film. The darkness of night, thick fog as you explore crypts, coffins, and obelisks. Large bat-like creatures hover above. You traverse to, what I can only describe as, Dracula’s castle through the eyes of Ralph Mcquarrie.
I don’t think there’s a “Halloween” in the Star Wars universe, but this particular level had to be one of the first interactive fully realized “horror” environments established in Star Wars media. Evil cults, mysterious castles, dark “magic”, fog, cemeteries, crypts, bats, and skeletons. The final level of 2002’s Star Wars: Bounty Hunter is a little spooky space morsel to be had this Halloween season. And, fancy that, it was just remastered for modern consoles a couple months back.
October 5th and 6th:
The above image is a picture I took Saturday morning of White Cemetery near Barrington, Illinois. It’s claimed to be one of the most haunted cemeteries in Illinois and often gets mentioned alongside Bachelors Grove (one of the supposed most haunted cemeteries in the entire country). I finally got to venture inside it as it was part of a 7 hour ghost tour my wife and I were on.
You read that right: a 7 hour ghost tour.
I’m not sure if the average joe even thinks about going on ghost tours, but my wife and I always hit up at least one when we’re visiting a new state and try to find many local to us within a reasonable distance. We’ve done quite a bit…but this was certainly the longest one by far. White Cemetery is located on historic Cuba road, which in all is legendarily haunted if you’re familiar with anything spooky in the midwest. Disappearing gangsters, spirit “lights”, phantom cars, and burning mansions are just a select few of the bullet list of the bizarre when it comes to Cuba road. The tour was also more than just a single cemetery (for 7 hours it better be) as we ventured to the “Devil’s Gate” of Libertyville, Vincent Price’s childhood home, the shady Mineola Hotel, and also…well…a few more cemeteries. White Cemetery is a place I ventured with friends multiple times in my youth during the Halloween season. We were only ever able to drive past it due to heavy surveillance and even multiple parked police cruisers. Even today, management showed up in less than 10 minutes of us being in the cemetery. It’s interesting because my wife and I both trespassed into world renowned Bachelors Grove Cemetery after dark and spent all the time we wanted there with no trouble.
The Mineola Hotel on Fox Lake built in 1888.
If you’ve never taken a ghost tour before and you’re into the paranormal and (most importantly) history, I’d strongly suggest taking one because ‘tis the season. Not to mention most of these tours are small businesses run by a handful of spooky passionate people. On top of the history and lore it’s always interesting to hear how your guides ended up here and what hobbies they’re into. I think a lot of people seem to believe ghost tours are akin to some sort of “haunted house” walkthrough. As if it’s something childish or hokey when the reality is they’re essentially history tours that focus on death and darker elements guided by people who are truly passionate about it. And I love hearing people talk about what they’re passionate about.
October 4th:
Riding that Goosebumps high from last week, we decided to watch The Haunted Mask II tonight. Being a Goosebumps reader back when they were first released, I was aware there was a sequel novel, but had no idea it was adapted into 2 episodes of the Goosebumps television series. I hadn’t read the book so I had no idea what this Haunted Mask entailed; other than I didn’t like the mask design as much as the first. This episode was released nearly a year-to-the-day after the original (October 29th 1996) and the brief episode description laid out that one of the kid bullies from the previous tale got their hands on a haunted mask. Sounded enticing, as wearing the mask makes you an angry little shit as we saw with the first wholesome kid putting it on. So a mean spirited bully wearing it would mean an even more intense scary story, right?
No. Not really.
All the original kids were back for this one. Even the old spooky shop owner and parents. One of the bullies from the first one, Steve, got his hands on another haunted mask in which he was turned into a feeble old man. He said “boo!” to a couple kids at first, threw a small pumpkin at the front door of a house, then just got really tired…confused…thirsty…and wandered aimlessly around the neighborhood asking for a glass of water. Although the first Haunted Mask was a bit humorous due to some acting, effects, and plot issues…it was still effective especially for a child. Which is the whole point of the Goosebumps stories.
But Haunted Mask II wasn’t effective and I found myself laughing out loud often. This kid put on this grotesque mask and, after a couple minor inconveniences, acted like an elderly man. What I also found baffling was the amount of adults and kids in the neighborhood that reached out to help what they thought was a confused senior citizen; even though he flat out looked like a melting goblin. Is R.L. Stine pro agism? Do all elderly people look like monsters to him and this is how he’s expressing his prejudice?
I’d still say give this a watch as it’s entertaining in a different way from its predecessor. Afterall, I don’t think time can be wasting on a Goosebumps episode.
October 3rd:
Tonight we took a shot in the dark with 1976’s Kenny and Company. A movie not really forgotten because I don’t believe it was ever remembered in the first place. I was drawn to it as I was looking into the films of Don Coscarelli (of 1979’s Phantasm fame) and it involves a bunch of familiar names and faces if you’re a fan of the Phantasm horror film series. Kenny and Company is about nothing in particular and everything in general. It’s a slow, low key “slice of life” film about a 12 year old boy just living life in the 1970s. That’s literally it. There’s really no beginning or end. The film takes place covering some antics a few days leading to Halloween night.
You’ll see them go to school. Ride their bicycles. Work on their costumes. Skateboard and build a soapbox racer. Talk about girls and dying. Take on a bully. Go to a birthday party. All leading to their Halloween night of trick or treating. It’s like a stream of consciousness. But what I enjoyed about it is there was no rose tinted glasses or “nostalgia-bait” like so many attempts at the “throwback” entertainment of today. It’s a very genuine movie with great insight into those “good ‘ol days” as they took place. Not because that’s what they set out to do; but because it became sort of a time capsule with a thin narrative to string you along. I imagine the adults that were kids of this era would really get a kick out of this film.
It has a great cozy fall vibe throughout with plenty of classic Halloween decorations and just a careless innocence that can’t help but make you smile…even if you might doze off before it ends.
Finally was able to dust off the bin from our dusty crypt of a basement and get some decorating done to the ‘ol homestead. I don’t go overboard when it comes to decorating. Everyone has their own style and presentation. I aim for a quick setup and (eventual) take down. A single bin to pack up and store. Afterall I need to drag it up/down 6 staircases (including a tight winding one into the dark basement). We rarely get visitors and we’re often gone. So the decorations are for my wife and I only.
The final implementation is always a freshly carved Jack O’Lantern. And that comes later in the season. Speaking of jack O’lanterns, a new addition to our decorating lineup this year are some pumpkin streamers from the mid 1990s my wife found at a thrift store earlier this year. They have a fun nostalgic “classroom” Halloween vibe that I appreciate. Of course, part of decorating for me is also having the appropriate snacks throughout the season. Apple cider to sip on, apple cider donuts to snack on, plenty of “fun size” Halloween candy to munch. We’re not big on “pumpkin spice”, although I’ll usually get a pumpkin iced coffee out of Halloween civic duty. And, of course, a monster cereal proudly displayed above the fridge. Y’know, for posterity.
October 1st:
I was visiting a Spirit Halloween over the weekend when, in their mask section, displayed prominently was a single “Haunted Mask” as it appeared in the legendary Goosebumps episode. It was instantly recognizable, yet it took me a couple seconds to think why. Goosebumps, while fondly remembered, isn’t something I’ve really revisited (in book or television form). Yet when grabbing the mask off the peg, a wave of familiarity rushed over me. From the faded frightening look to the thin rubber feel. I even quipped “There’s only a single mask here, just like in the show!” Crazy how you remember such things, even though it has been decades since I’ve watched it.
The mask, haunting my thoughts since the day prior, caused me to seek out the famed Goosebumps two parter; leading to my wife and I (un)officially kicking off the Halloween season with a viewing. Although my wife is absolutely sheltered when it comes to pop culture in most general forms…she actually was a big Goosebumps fan and knew this particular story well. The Haunted Mask may be one of Goosebumps most popular tales of terror and for good reason. Despite the cringey acting and dated effects (that’s often the charm when it comes to horror anyway) it’s still an effective and downright spooky story. Afterall, a monster mask that grows on your face during a foggy Halloween night could only get more seasonal if candy corn shot out of your nose and your ass played Monster Mash. “The Haunted Mask” gets a strong recommendation for any age. Even though, as an adult, the scariest thing about it are the lines carelessly delivered from the oddly awkward human husk that is R.L. Stine.
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