I was partaking in the mundane task of grocery shopping when something perked me out of my catatonic state of routine disinterest: right there in the middle of the dairy section was a themed display stocked with Keebler Beetlejuice cookies.
A bevy of thoughts immediately entered my head all at once. Like when the Three Stooges all try to walk through a door together. Being late July, I assumed I stumbled upon a “much-too-early” Halloween tie-in, as the same grocery store already had a few Halloween items stocked in their seasonal aisle. My second thought was “Why does it say Beetlejuice Beetlejuice everywhere?”
It must’ve been the work of the invisible waves of brain fog pumped throughout the grocery store, but these Keebler cookies gave me a proverbial fudge striped slap as I realized, “Oh, shit, there’s a Beetlejuice sequel coming out soon!” I’d like to think I was the first person to mutter that sentence in that particular Jewel-Osco. And for the rest of my grocery store trip, I began to not only unpack the fact that a sequel to Beetlejuice is soon to be released but to also realize, when you think about it too much, how downright bizarre all this is.
The cookies. The Beetlejuice. The sequel. All of it.
We’ve been living in “The Digital Age” for a while now. And the COVID pandemic completely spiraled movie marketing and theater releases into an absolute flaming tailspin. “Blockbuster” movie releases are seemingly gone and so goes the over-the-top marketing that accompanied them: Billboards, cereals, soundtracks, collector cups, fast food, toys, video games, commercials, and giveaways. So much of the movie experience is digital nowadays…from your ticket to your rental and maybe even your purchase of the film itself.
Was all that bygone promotional buildup ultimately unneeded consumeristic excess? Of course it was. Did it make a film’s release a bit more of a special event? Of course it did. Yet suddenly, right there physically in front of me, were Beetlejuice cookies. Remnants of a bygone era forced into irrelevance now being driven by a ghost who hasn’t seen a movie theater since 1988. A dead art promoting a dead art. With one side literally being about the dead. It’s all so ghoulishly ironic!
Personally, I can’t think of a point in my life not knowing of Beetlejuice. I retain the memory of losing the head of my Beetlejuice action figure in my local Mcdonald’s ball pit. Or the time my psychopathic Aunt deserted me in a Funcoland store while playing the Beetlejuice Nintendo game. Or those tranquil afternoons sitting on my grandparents couch slyly grinning when an episode of the Beetlejuice cartoon came on. That intro was like dropping acid at an Oingo Boingo concert.
But Beetlejuice became a buried relic of childhood and that’s where he stayed. It wasn’t until 20 plus years later when on the topic of Beetlejuice (which can be a very rare thing depending on your particular friend circles) made me realize I wanted to rewatch it through my now world-weary-constantly-exhausted adult eyes. So I did. And I thought it was really weird.
I sat during the credits piecing together the resounding mainstream success this particular film had. And it perplexed me on every level. I can see Beetlejuice alongside, say, Heathers…The ‘Burbs…The Frighteners. Known to some degree…appreciated by a specific demographic…but far from iconic or quintessential. And surely not have its history of marketability especially towards kids. Beetlejuice is a downright bizarre movie. The subject matter is incredibly dark and tragic. Yet the “spirit” of the movie is so playful and alluring. It’s like a devastating funeral being presented by a Ringling Bros. circus.
So how did it get here? Beetlejuice was an odd duck from the beginning. The story and screenplay is credited between 3 writers that (at the time) only had 2 writing credits between them: a single episode of the 80’s reboot of Alfred Hitchcock Presents and an episode of Amazing Tales. Of course, as we all may know, the director of this film is Tim Burton who, at this point, only had one feature length theatrical film to his name: Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.
Many cast members had to be convinced multiple times to sign onto the movie…many thinking it was “too weird”. There were no major stars attached to the film. Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis, who played the main characters of The Maitlands, were bit players in a few television series. “Betelgeuse” himself played by Michael Keaton had some theatrical comedies to his name. Yet despite being the most marketable and playing the titular character, Beetlejuice has less than 15 minutes of screentime. With 90% of his lines ad-libbed by Keaton himself.
It all spells disaster on paper, but Beetlejuice made about 5 times its budget back at the box office. We’re talking about it 36 years later and a sequel comes out in a few weeks. The character is nothing short of iconic within western popular culture. Spit from an era that put Rambo, Robocop, and Freddy Krueger alongside the Smurfs, Thundercats, and Ducktales…I suppose the crude morbidness was never a question when aiming “The Ghost with the Most” at kids. He is kinda like Casper’s deadbeat uncle afterall.
But, just for my sake, I’d like to break down a few facts here:
First of all: Beetlejuice. Excuse me? That’s the titular name of a character. He’s a slimy conman poltergeist named Beetlejuice. Yet, in the film, it’s spelled “Betelgeuse”. I assume that is his “real” last name. He killed himself; meaning he was a mortal at one point. Why the heck is that his name? It’s not presented as a nickname. It isn’t established that anyone else in the afterlife has names like that. It’s completely unique, off putting, and strange. And why do you have to say his name 3 times to summon him? Such an interestingly wistful way of establishing his “legend”. The whole less-is-more lore establishing Betelgeuse is pure “outside the box” fictional magic. There isn’t a character like him. That’s why he was in a movie for 14 minutes 36 years ago and we still remember him.
Second: Beetlejuice is a villainous-pervert-scumbag. He’s not misunderstood. He’s not even an “anti-hero”. He’s a crude and morbid monster. He instinctively preys on the naive well meaning Maitlands the moment he sets his undead eyes on them. Reeling them into his long con: Which we learn is to marry a woman; which would allow him to cause chaos in the mortal world. We learn he became how we know him via suicide. He looks up Barbara’s skirt and parties with undead demon whores. He drops an “f-bomb” and honks his groin in a PG movie. When first summoned he intended to kill Lydia’s Father, Charles. And I’m pretty sure he kills the Dean couple via his “Test of Strength”. Oh and he tries to marry a 16 year old girl against her will. A 16 year old girl who plans on killing herself because she likes ghosts more than her family. Did I mention it’s a PG family film? Betelgeuse doesn’t have a story arc or any redeeming qualities. He’s a problem. He’s an anarchistic predator. And he should never be given attention.
I’d like to remind you that Beetlejuice had a toyline, children’s cartoon, fast food meal, Nintendo game, theme park show, hit Broadway musical, and was a Build-A-Bear.
I can only liken the admirability of Beetlejuice to that of The Joker. A maniacal theatrical character whose sole purpose is to cause chaos. Yet, despite the murder and fiendishness, The Joker is relentlessly revered within pop culture. To link these characters even tighter: Jack Nicholson’s Joker eclipsed pop culture the following year in Tim Burton’s Batman starring Beetlejuice himself: Michael Keaton. In fact, Burton ditched a Beetlejuice sequel for 1989’s Batman. It was the 1992 sequel, Batman Returns, when the studio ditched Burton. Why? Parents felt the film was too inappropriate to be coupled with a kids meal. To appease the mob, the Happy Meal promotion was recalled creating a ripple effect on the marketing of Batman Returns leading to it underperforming at the box office.
Yet, two years prior, there were Beetlejuice kids meals at Burger King. Beetlejuice: the suicidal pervy conman whose goal is to wreak havoc via prearranged child marriage. Stick ‘em in a greasy burger bag, boys! We’re good to go!
If Beetlejuice taught me anything, it’s that if you’re funny and charismatic…you can get away with literally anything. A character forged in Hollywood. There’s another layer of ghoulish irony.
Although this article may sound down-on-the-juice, I am a lifelong pro-juicer. I’ve had friendships tightened over Beetlejuice quotes. I have fond childhood memories of the cartoon and cherishing my Beetlejuice action figure. I’ve fought, daily, the impulse to purchase the illuminated “Betelgeuse” arrow sign and install it above my desk. It’s only as I got older and truly examined the entertainment I grew up on that I realized the dark macabre reality of it. And I didn’t need some 6 part controversial streaming documentary to tell me. Beetlejuice, like the character himself, unabashedly flaunts it for all to see. Perhaps our whole lives are a dark room afterall.
And what’s just as strange as the journey and story of Beetlejuice is the fact that we’re getting a sequel. Sequels are rarely necessary. And, with recent films released over the past decade or so, I’ve come to the conclusion that movies aren’t even necessary anymore. Over 20 years ago I remember reading about the scrapped Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian sequel and breathing a sigh of relief. And, while I can’t speak for all fans, I’ve always felt content with Beetlejuice, his world, and his story. He was in a rare position being an 80’s relic whose corpse wasn’t raided by modern braindead Hollywood executives. But, like Otho lookin’ for a buck, they decided to call his name 3 times once again. And, just like The Maitlands, I am fearful and nervous for it.
When it comes to storytelling, I feel “less-is-more”. The genius of the character is not only Keaton’s manic charismatic performance, but the simple fact that he’s not even in his own movie much. Is more screen time for Beetlejuice a good thing? And with more screen time, you shouldn’t lean into some sort of sappy or tragic backstory for Beetlejuice…or any backstory at all. The title: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice, leads me to believe this is going to be a trilogy. With the third being called Beetlejuice Beetlejuice Beetlejuice “finishing” off the character. But is he someone redeemable enough to “Rest In Peace”? Or will he simply need to be defeated again during yet another supernatural con? Better yet: do we even care enough? Just because we could, do we ever stop to think if we should?
The recent cultural shift in America has had many claiming: “You couldn’t make a movie like this today” when it comes to many films of yesteryear. A tired yet true observation. And I believe it couldn’t be truer for Beetlejuice. A crude offensive politically incorrect bio-exorcist in a film fueled by death, murder, suicide, and horror violence marketed for da kids. A family outing. A product of its time. And a big part of me misses that time if not for artistic expression alone no matter how silly it may seem. Maybe it’s because modern Hollywood completely lacks integrity and creativity.
Taking an untouched culturally relevant classic and “following it up” in a soulless braindead era of filmmaking when you already said everything you needed to say 36 years ago? I guess, like summoning Betelgeuse himself, I’m nervous and weary of what’s to come. But I guess I’m part of the long con, as I’ll be at the theater early September to see the ‘juice on the loose’ once more.
It’s showtime afterall.
And, yes, I ended up buying the dang Beetlejuice cookies.
For posterity, I’m going to edit this article with my quick review of Beetlejuice Beetlejuice right here:
EDIT 9/10/24: Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was alright. 2.5/5 Zagnut Bars.
ChrisDoesComics.com 
