The Ninja Turtle Guide To Murder & Violence

Unfortunately we cannot be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Can we be teenagers? Definitely. Can we be mutants? Arguably. Turtles? I mean, spiritually. Ninjas? You bet your sweet bippy we can be ninjas. And who better to teach us than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themselves?!

Well probably Master Splinter.

But in 1986 Solson Publications took it upon themselves to release several “Authorized Training Manuals” starring the Ninja Turtles. And for a mere $2.25 you could pick up an issue and learn the art of the Ninja yourself. Solson Publications was a New York run comic publisher in the 1980s. They’re mostly known for publishing a lot of “How To Draw” guide books, a Three Stooges comic, and a series about a buff machine gun toting Ronald Reagan called Reagan’s Raiders. You know, the good stuff.

I stumbled upon these TMNT “Authorized Manuals” about a decade back for a dollar each in a used bookstore. The issues met my criteria for the need to consume everything TMNT as well as the possible serious career path of becoming a ninja. Today I’m going to be exploring the Authorized Martial Arts Training Manual as well as the Authorized Karate Training Manual. I love finding any type of TMNT merchandise or media prior to the 1987 Fred Wolf cartoon series, so let’s delve deep together into these turtley treasures and see what goodness we can find.

Here we have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Authorized Training Manual Vol. One. from 1986. Artwork is done by Solson regulars Jason Rodgers and Rich Buckler. It’s interesting seeing the Turtles drawn by artists other than Eastman and Laird especially so early in their lifecycle. This particular issue introduces all four brothers with some insight on their weapons. You then are able to learn some stances and attacks based on a series of step by step illustrations. You won’t be a ninja master by the end of this issue, unfortunately, but it’s a charming experience flipping through it.

I especially enjoy the illustrated weapon diagrams. Though these issues are brief and shallow, you can easily find much better resources in the learning martial arts but, honestly, what do you expect? If I were a nerdy edgy teen in 1986 and was focused on making myself a living weapon, I’d probably be more inclined to purchase these comics instead of heading to the dojo between the dry cleaners and White Hen. Afterall, when you take out a group of goons and the damsel babe you saved asks you, “Where did you learn that?” would you rather answer “Sensei Darrell“ or the “Ninja freakin’ Turtles”?

This training manual series ran for six issues. The sixth issue (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Authorized Training Manual No. 6 Vol. One.) was an expansion on the Martial Arts techniques learned in issue one. It’s pretty similar in execution except artwork is done not only by Jason Rodgers but Don Secrease, Paul Daly, and Bill Koch. The art is a little sketchier and grittier (which obviously works for this iteration of the TMNT) and Master Splinter is added to give more insight to the new illustrated techniques. I’d say the art definitely feels more Eastman and Laird and the turtles themselves just look meaner. I’d say to use this issue if your local goons decide to step up their antics with chains and flamboyant mohawks.

If you thought the Ninja Turtles were done teaching you martial arts in just six issues you’re wrong, buster. Because there’s a single issue in which they teach Karate. You can call Mr. Myagi and tell him to stick to those damn Bonsai trees because you’ve got Turtle Power now. This issue, aesthetically, is much cleaner and better presented than all the other issues in the series. And as a self declared expert in karate (and by that I mean I’ve been in the same room as Ralph Macchio) I’d say this issue is pretty stellar. The illustrative steps are broader and more informative to where you can maybe do something completely unremarkable but at least show promise. There’s also an epic panel of pure focused turtle-crotch.

If you had to purchase one issue I would personally go with this one. It has the best artwork, instructions, and an ad for a comic series consisting of a group of female powerlifters that fight crime (It’s called Iron Maidens because of course that’s what it’s called). There’s been Ninja Turtle cookbooks and shaving sets so I’m not surprised there’s comics where they teach you their ninja ways. What makes this so unique is that it was crafted before the Playmates TMNT merch machine launched in 1987. The three issues covered today were not deep or very informative. And I’m not sure who exactly they were “authorized” by. And, at this point, the TMNT were too adult for kids yet too silly for adults therefore I’m not sure who the market was when producing these issues. But I’m glad they exist. They’re a wonderful time machine to right before our favorite mutant brothers were launched into teenage superstardom.

Going through the steps and taking these issues seriously might make you more of a Foot Soldier than a Ninja Turtle. But it doesn’t take away from the charm and nostalgia when flipping through the Turtles in their comic infancy. Today we covered the two Martial Arts manuals as well as a (Bonus) Karate manual. But I did mention there are six issues in their entirety. Each of those four issues are dedicated to a single turtle brother. And next time we’re going to cover the art of the sword, sai, bo, and nunchaku. So grab some Crunchabungas, stock up some mutagen, and make sure you’ve got a bottle of turtle wax because we’re about to go full ninja, dudes and dudettes.

TMNT: Fun Time With Weapons

Welcome back, dudes and dudettes, to part two of a retrospective on Solson Publications 1986 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Authorized Martial Arts Training Manuals. If you haven’t read part one of my coverage you can find it here. If you already have or just don’t want to then there’s nothing I can really do, man, I’m just an article on the internet.

In 1986 a small New York comic publisher put out seven comic issues in which the TMNT teach you the way of the ninja. After digging into three issues previously, I now present you with the four remaining issues in which each Turtle brother teaches you the art of their personal weapon.

So clear your living room, sharpen your blades, and put on some Kenny Loggins records because we’re about to enter the danger zone.

I mentioned how the previous TMNT martial arts manuals were light on substance but overall pretty charming. It’s a ride to be able to see the TMNT so early into their comic careers being drawn by artists other than Eastman and Laird. Those issues covered very basic stances and cultural backgrounds. But it’s issues two through five where things start to get pretty dang serious.

Each issue is simply titled after the name of a particular turtle brother (notice the misspelled “Rafael”) with a secondary title such as the “Art of the Sai”. It’s kind of crazy to think there are licensed and “authorized” Ninja Turtle guides on how to use these sharp and dangerous weapons to flat out harm others. And nowhere on the issue does it tell you to proceed with caution. The Turtles look meaner than ever as if they sense what you’ve just gotten yourself into…and there’s no turning back now. The artwork is very much in league with the first issues I covered with all the illustrations done, once again, by Jason Rodgers. His interpretation of the Turtles has certainly grown on me after flipping through these issues. They’re somewhere between the original Eastman/Laird vision but with a very Jim Henson 1990 feel thrown in for good measure. The Turtles presented in these issues come off as serious and violent. Opening up issue two you come face to face with Michelangelo choking a literal ninja turtle to death.

Each issue follows the same layout: a brief history of the specific weapon, weapon stances, holstering, a fold out poster, and a couple murderous techniques. Mikey teaches me where to hit someone in the face with a nunchuck, Donnie shows me how to choke out someone with a bo, Raph tells me how to get stabby, and Leo demonstrates that cutting people is better than talking it out. It’s weird to think that I’d be having these homicidal maniacs on my lunchbox just two years later! Ah, the ‘80s were such a magical time weren’t they? Once again, these issues are very much in league with the previous manuals: light on substance, common misspellings, and crude in presentation. Kind of like my articles. But the charm is what made me embrace them. These “weapon” focused issues are a little harder to love just because they’re so darn violent. That being said, I don’t mind the TMNT being violent but here they’re just literally teaching you violence with step by step instructions. Yet it’s just so bizarre that I have to love what Solson Publications is trying to do. Because, as a ninja crimefighter, there may be no phrase as confusing to leave your defeated opponent with as, “I was taught this from a Ninja Turtle instruction manual.”

My favorite of the fold out posters has to be Leonardo’s. It depicts the leader of the team violently impaling our poor nameless volunteer ninja turtle to death blood and all. I mean, it’s no telling Shredder to commit seppuku, but it’s pretty close. I think we tend to overlook that “ninja” basically means a martial arts assassin. And, all in all, I believe that’s something that these strange offbeat “guides” at least capture in a sense when it comes to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. In a little over a year these guys will be spouting surfer dialect, obsessing over pizza, and comically battling bodacious bumbling bad guys. But, as captured in these rare issues, here they are teaching you how to take out someone holding a knife using your sai.

I think this is a fair representation of what makes the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles such a cultural touchstone to so many fans. For 35 years now, they’ve had so many interpretations and reimagnings that there are generations of kids and adults that have their Ninja Turtles. And these “authorized manuals”, though silly, capture the Turtles right before they hit their animated superstardom. If you find yourself at a convention or online auction and see these for a decent price, I’d pick them up for the pure novelty factor. As for Solson Publications, their samurai publication fetish came to a close in 1987 but they did employ legendary comic artist Jim Lee as an inker. In conclusion, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Authorized Martial Arts Training Manuals can’t substitute for real authentic martial art lessons. They’re weird, oddly violent, loaded with misspellings, and inaccuracies. But you’re not here for that. You’re here the TMNT. And, with that being said, these are just cool to have. They’re great conversation starters into fandom and fun to flip through. Sometimes you just have to take things at face value to enjoy them. I give them a resounding “Cowabunga!” even though these Turtles wouldn’t be caught dead saying that.